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Re: Be Not My World
Be just us against the world. This ruins the power of your last stanza, which I consider the most beautiful I know someone already mentioned this, but no harm in ...
Thu Jan 07, 2010 12:37 am -
Re: Jacob's Ladder
That was beutiful. Especially the first line Words play like children in a street- like sacrificial lambs. DId anyone else get the image of dictionaries with lamb feet playing jump ...
Thu Jan 07, 2010 12:31 am -
Re: Forever Gone
Hello Janay! I will be reviewing your poem for you today. :D And here I must stay. Like the clouds in the sky, I am slowly turning grey. My only ...
Thu Jan 07, 2010 12:21 am -
Re: Never Won
Why can't I get over you? I want to move on to something new. I would say nix this line. Of course I agree with everyone above, that you should ...
Thu Jan 07, 2010 12:07 am -
Re: My Requiem
I feel nothing but the frosty touch of silver twilight's kiss. This isn't even a nitpick, just my own warped opinion. I don't like the use of silver before twilight. ...
Thu Jan 07, 2010 12:00 am -
Re: The lioness
She tore your heart out Like a lion ripping, And tearing at that spot For hours upon hours. I like this, but I think it could be a little more ...
Wed Jan 06, 2010 11:54 pm -
Re: With You
I don’t know why, when everybody’s hating me, When darkness is all I can see, When I am drowning in hatred’s sea, I find love, just by sitting with you, ...
Wed Jan 06, 2010 11:47 pm -
Re: Chocolate Dawn
Hello chocolate, loved you poem, absolutely loved it. One little nitpick: The lava marks the night, bleeds its vanilla icicles stained of red that scars the milky way. I really ...
Wed Jan 06, 2010 11:41 pm -
Re: PEZ
I'm thinking that this is a form of sabotoge for us lyrical poetry reviewers... but oh well. Here I go. Please let some stranger secretly buy me a huge box ...
Wed Jan 06, 2010 9:34 am -
Re: Our Love is like the Rain.
We become taken over, our lives now one, And the sun disappears as we are taken over by a storm. don't really like these lines. But you need them when, ...
Wed Jan 06, 2010 9:00 am -
Re: Because of Your Grace
The sound of Your voice, Is just above all noise. It demands urgency, and a sense of intimacy. The miracle of Your touch, Is just amazing to watch. Millions of ...
Wed Jan 06, 2010 8:47 am -
Re: Summer wishes
I'ved loved everything I've seen of yours so far, Fixed. Summers come and summers go. Before and after our winter snow. But I still love the bright sun's glare, the ...
Wed Jan 06, 2010 8:41 am -
Re: We'll Never Know
I could see this as a first stanza, where you then elaborate on what they could have been and come to a full-circle ending with this also as the last ...
Wed Jan 06, 2010 8:35 am -
Re: Nature's Two Hands
This poem is really something. Thank you for relaxing my poor bloodshot eyes with a calm, relaxing piece of poetry. This is most definitely lyrical. It said: Watch the open ...
Wed Jan 06, 2010 8:31 am -
Re: Take and Take
You have a lot of superfluous words that are a little hard to slog through Thus now they are the masters of the earth, They look upon other creatures with ...
Wed Jan 06, 2010 8:23 am
