Hello;
First off I'd like to say this is a wonderful poem. Very well written and you certainly get your point across. But there are a few things that I would like to point out.
Some of your punctuation seems off.
But then, our love fades,
And our storm, drizzles to an end.
I'm not sure the first comma is in the right spot. Maybe between "But" and "then" instead of "then" and "our". I also don't think there should be a comma between "storm" and "drizzles". That could just be me though. Just take a look maybe?? There are also other spots where this applies but this was the main spot that was bugging me.
I really love the progression in the poem though--It's as though you're really telling a story. How the storm dies down with the intensity of the storm is a really strong meaning, and it's really amazing how you expressed it.
I also love how the story starts with "Beginning" and closes with "End." It shows that the love really has a beginning and then comes to an end, and that's really amazing.
Thank you for writing such an amazing poem for everyone to read. Keep up the good work!
~xXMasterXx
Points: 1505
Reviews: 13
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