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Sorry, but I totally agree with "God" (I hate that he used that name). It's a joke... jeeze... Anyway I sadly agree with him. It went on and on. You ...

Okay... I echo everyone else. This isn't a poem it isn't even original. The whole poem a big mess of gawking cliches. So what! I don't care he killed himself ...

This isn't a peom rather a list of ideas. Which you never even begin to use. Plus the constant repetition of 'the' that's horrible. Poetry has repetition, yes sometimes. But ...

My only problem is repetition of 'so full of life' get rid of that. It's too cliche actually. We understand the effect your trying to get. You do change tenses ...

I'm having problems figuring out where things should go, so if this is possibly in the wrong forum then i'm sorry! -penny The red wine is gone. Drunk. To the ...

No offence I hope but this poem is typical 'navelgazing' you involve the readers and you use no poetic techniques just telling us all these facts. The truth is, we've ...

Firstly I'll give my title suggestion: Abstract Reaction. Now on with review this story struck me as very well written. You do show, but you tell more. Maybe descrease that ...

You're really thirteen? O_O. That's my first reaction, this is... this is beautiful. My one complaint is I don't like or understand 'sheets of purity' Maybe just try and make ...

Andy was right, this peice was exellently written. :). I like how you don't tell us right away it's two boys. When I heard forbidden I thought of incest or ...

My overall opinion. Typical Karina... making such a horrendous thing like that, so surreal and weird. Then of course that's why we love ya. I'm going for a shower soon ...

Well that shocked me, I thought this was gonna end up with a suicide. It's intresting, the title caught my eye. Your main issue is probably you go on and ...

dude no one can tell anyone that something is not a poem. u guys are crazy. if it was written to be a poem, it's a poem, no matter what. ...

You do really hit us continuelly with this. My hed feel like it's been hit with a sledgehammer. It's a nice idea but repeation of fear, is very bad. I ...

Sorry to bring down your parade, but the start of the poem. It drones on and on. You've exellent word choice yet at the beginning you go on and on. ...

Not so much original as everyone says, Spider a lot of the time represent predators. Trapping people. It's nice but not very original. I cannot agree with the others. You ...