Why are high school students are crazy?
Are they picking on a nerd or are they caught up in being popular?
Do they what to fail or accomplish something in their life?
Are they jocks or geeks?No matter what they are they are still crazy.
Points:
Time spent:
IP address:
Canary word: Present
Possible AI signals:
Original Text:
Are you sure you want to delete this comment? This cannot be undone.
Mark this comment as a review? Points will be awarded to the poster.
Your comment was posted, but it wasn’t long enough to count as a review. Reviews need about four complete sentences (at least 250 characters). Try writing another review that explains your thoughts in more detail — the author will appreciate it, and you’ll earn points for it.
The same could be said of your efforts to find relevant reviewing material.
Seriously, people, check the date of the original post before you respond.
Is this supposed to be a poem?:smt101
Why are high school students crazy?
Are they picking on a nerd or are they caught up in being popular?
Do they want to fail or accomplish something in their life?
Are they jocks or geeks? No matter what they are, they are still crazy.
ta- daaa
Try harder
First off, it's an awesome thing that you are trying to write. You've got some real talent here. This is a good idea for a poem, though I think it could be be lengthened and detail could be added. Why don't you try adding detail and, like some of the others said, answer the questions you ask. But don't stop writing! Take the critism given to you and use it to improve your writing. Don't completely conform to it, though. Let your personality into it. Remember, Albert Einstien's teacher thought he was a bad student. All genius's fail at one time or the other.
I understand your point of view.
Hey, youre a young writer?
I was one once too.
WHat you need to understand is tht this is very short and undetailed, I need more info!
Add some description by adjectives, adverbs.. etc
This has potential
More just needs to be added,,,
Good luck!
I understand your point of view.
Hey, youre a young writer?
I was one once too.
WHat you need to understand is tht this is very short and undetailed, I need more info!
Add some description by adjectives, adverbs.. etc
This has potential
More just needs to be added,,,
Good luck!
Thanks guys for the tips and coments.
harrypotterbooklover101: There's nothing wrong with posting this in the poetry forums; it's not exactly a story either. I think the main point people were making is that it seems to be more of miniature rant/babble than what most consider "poetry"--it lacks any sophistication whatsoever. It's the classic Disney Channel caricature of a large group of people...with questions? This should not have been taken out of the middle-schooler's diary in which I imagine poems such as this are written. Go out to your local library and read some poetry. Love it, learn from it, and read it over again.
-Colleen
I agree with the others. This is not poerty its just random specutlions. I actually hate it it was bland, it had no depth it was just there.
I agree, this poem has potential. If you want to call it a poem. I mean I like the idea behind it but you badly need to get more in depth with the words and the meaning and maybe add some imagery and sprinkle a generous amount of emotions in to this. Keep trying.
Ahem, she posted this we gave opinion.
Now on to the poem. Which it isn't you never, answer these questions... Making this is all rhetoric.. If you tried to concentrate on each question in the stanza with langauge and imagery techniques, this could well be a poem. Overall: My advice is draw on each question and make a stanza from each question. But right now, I don't like this. Hope this helps.
Good luck
VSN
----------------
Listening to: No Use For A Name - Under The Garden
via FoxyTunes
dude no one can tell anyone that something is not a poem. u guys are crazy. if it was written to be a poem, it's a poem, no matter what.
Sorry if its not a pome I will swich it to a story.
Hmm. As everyone else said, this piece isn't quite poetic. I can see the point you are trying to get across. Perhaps if you add in a bit of imagery, and make the poem flow more together, you may have more luck.
Keep trying!
-Kat =]
Yeah, I'd have to agree with the others. I can't really see what point you're trying to get across, and your subject is a little hazy. High school students? Got that part. Cliques? Popularity? Is this what you're trying to say? Iwouldn't even call this a poem. It's just a jumble of questions, with no poetic element what so ever. How did you come across high school students being crazy? Explain, please. No one gets it. Seriously, either really, really (really) work on this or move it to the Other forum. This doesn't belong in Poetry.
This is certainly not poetry. It kinda refers to a debate maybe, but not a poem. This was, I'm sorry, but an eye sore to read. Try again.
...I wouldn't call this poetry.
But I can see the idea your trying to bring across.
I've fixed the spelling errors and punctuation just so you can get familiar with how you (try to) punctuate. With poems, punctuation seems to break them up alot and make them uncomfortable for the reader.
Don't re-edit this. Throw it away and try harder. Like OverEasy said, go and read some poetry - you'll learn heaps.
All the best luck and keep trying,
Peace V
Inky
Hmm, I am very sorry to say that I am really not fond of this. There is very little that is actually poetic about it, I pretty much just see a bunch of questions thrown together. There is no flow, no concrete visuals, no interesting use of language. There really isn't a lot to say about this poem, except that it is lacking in anything that would spark my interest as a reader.
The most important thing about improving your writing skills is actually reading the genre you are interested in. Read a bunch of poems, as many as you can by as many different authors as you can find! It will really improve your writing skills believe it or not.
Good Luck
OverEasy