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Re: Photons
Wow... I learnt something new! I think the answer to your musings is that it's the amazing interaction of the insignificant photon with the insignificant person that makes the moment ...
Dec 28, 2012 -
Re: Left.
I like it, I haven't seen a poem in this format before. I thought it would have been cool if the stanza's with the word "left" in them could be ...
Dec 28, 2012 -
Re: The Rising Dawn Series
Hi CookieO! Good start to an epic story, I can visualise the beautiful imagery you are painting here. I agree with Stella, so I won't get into the details of ...
Dec 27, 2012 -
Re: The Thing That I Love
I like it! The way that clues are laid out, pushing the reader to the end of the poem to find out what you are describing is great. You do ...
Dec 26, 2012 -
Re: Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets (Twitterized)
Haha! Soon all books will be twitterised :-P excellent Berlyn! If you do this while bored, I'm lookiong forward to seeing what you can come up with on a serious ...
Aug 2, 2011 -
Re: Popularity Wars
Hey there WW! Right, I agree with most of what people have already said about the overused theme. I can't count the number of books and movies on my hands ...
May 3, 2010 -
Re: A Shot of Arrogance (Chapter One - Old)
This is an alright start...but I feel like something is missing - the hook. the thing that makes me really really want to find out what happens next. I mean, ...
May 1, 2010 -
Re: My guardian dog 2 (edited!) OLD
great job! i'm glad we found out more about her background, explanation of why she is so isolated. the bit with the mean customer touched me. I hope you kill ...
May 1, 2010 -
Re: Harry Potter & The Order Of The Pizza!
I can see this was designed to be short skit of some sort. it was hilarious! it was utterly ridiculous, and I didn't take it too seriously. in terms of ...
Apr 27, 2010 -
Re: Losing the Talent to Write
oh by the way, when you said: Sieze i think you might have meant "Cease" which means, Stop. Seize means: "to take hold of suddenly or forcibly; grasp: to seize ...
Apr 26, 2010 -
Re: An Excerpt: "Gabriel"
hey there ninja! OK I like your characters, which I think were the strongest asset of this chapter. I like reading about character interactions myself. that being said, i think ...
Apr 24, 2010 -
Re: Couple of poems
for the first poem, did you write it in that style on purpose? it breaks the sentences in the middle and gives it a jagged rhythm. can you explain why ...
Apr 22, 2010 -
Re: My guardian dog (Edited!) OLD
Ok heres what i like: Tonight, though, was his first. Therefore, he did not know I was lying and that Riley was lying in wait. Or doggy snoring. i actually ...
Apr 22, 2010 -
Re: Mirror
I'm afraid I have to agree with Jagged. this poem could use a lot more flavour... for example, you could talk about WHY you suddenly see beautiful. This is a ...
Apr 22, 2010 -
Re: Lady Death
ok, i'll start off by saying that i think i understand what borntobeawriter was trying to say with that line: "The man didn’t hesitate. He wrenched himself loose of her, ...
Apr 20, 2010
