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Re: Letter from a Lost Soldier
BlackSheep! This is incredibly touching, my goodness! I think you nailed all of the emotional strong points, and your story has achieved all it needs to in order to survive ...
May 28, 2014 -
Re: Across the Room
Hi Purple, You did well with this poem, good job. :-) It sets the mood and provides the tension of unrequited teenage love. I think I only have one take-it-or-leave-it ...
May 28, 2014 -
Re: Gone
Ok, from what I understand, this is a summary rather than an actual story. I will still review it, because it could use some editing. All that changes when she ...
May 27, 2014 -
Re: Second Always Comes Last: Our Sir
Ok, so my review comes from a place of being oblivious to the rest of the story, I'll admit that I haven't read the previous chapters yet. If some of ...
May 27, 2014 -
Re: Rainy Days
Interesting piece, it was well written, yet simple enough for me to believe it was a little girl's perspective. Even though you say this is just practice, you built up ...
May 27, 2014 -
Re: ii.
Hi nycto, Well done, this is great. I would only mention that you have used "i" instead of "I" but I'm guessing this was intentional. I especially love the penultimate ...
May 25, 2014 -
Re: Target Practice: Chapter Three
Good Stuff! I haven't read the previous chapters, so if parts of my critique are easily explained by the previous chapters, ignore them. I like the characters, the action and ...
May 25, 2014 -
Re: Legend of L'Karr Stone: Rise of the Mech-Warriors (Chapter 3)
Hi there! I'll dive right in. I have a couple of suggestions: 1. I wish there was more showing instead of telling - for example let him really engage with ...
Nov 27, 2013 -
Re: fruit fetus
Woah... this is a vivid piece. Like your other poetry, you are very good at imagery and bringing forth something different and un-thought-of. It makes me feel a whole range ...
Jan 4, 2013 -
Re: Meet the Grahambells
I believe the grammar issues have already been pointed out by my previous reviewers, so I hope you work on those things soon. I skimmed through the comments and picked ...
Jan 4, 2013 -
Re: *Self-Destruct*
I really love this, it's so creative the way you have incorporated the numeric countdown to an explosion of some sort. It effectively builds up the tension very effectively. I ...
Jan 3, 2013 -
Re: This Morning
It's a funny piece, well done! I will point out a few grammar and spelling mistakes here, but these aren't all of them: - You have spelt I as "i" ...
Dec 31, 2012 -
Re: She Is
I love the imagery in this piece! It really shows that this has been written with a great deal of love for the poem's subject. I have a critique about ...
Dec 31, 2012 -
Re: Review of The Foreigner
Shall I review your review? This is well written, the grammar, spelling and choice of words are right on point, and your writing has a good flow. I could see ...
Dec 30, 2012 -
Re:
feels like your standing in the middle of.... You mean " you're " ....There isn't a shore in sight and the only feeling of security around is burring yourself deeper ...
Dec 29, 2012
