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  • Short Story » Realistic, Teen Fiction Re: Letter from a Lost Soldier

    BlackSheep! This is incredibly touching, my goodness! I think you nailed all of the emotional strong points, and your story has achieved all it needs to in order to survive ...

    May 28, 2014
  • Poetry » General, General Re: Across the Room

    Hi Purple, You did well with this poem, good job. :-) It sets the mood and provides the tension of unrequited teenage love. I think I only have one take-it-or-leave-it ...

    May 28, 2014
  • Novel / Chapter » Teen Fiction, Fanfiction Re: Gone

    Ok, from what I understand, this is a summary rather than an actual story. I will still review it, because it could use some editing. All that changes when she ...

    May 27, 2014
  • Novel / Chapter » Mystery / Suspense, Horror Re: Second Always Comes Last: Our Sir

    Ok, so my review comes from a place of being oblivious to the rest of the story, I'll admit that I haven't read the previous chapters yet. If some of ...

    May 27, 2014
  • Short Story » Realistic, General Re: Rainy Days

    Interesting piece, it was well written, yet simple enough for me to believe it was a little girl's perspective. Even though you say this is just practice, you built up ...

    May 27, 2014
  • Poetry » General, General Re: ii.

    Hi nycto, Well done, this is great. I would only mention that you have used "i" instead of "I" but I'm guessing this was intentional. I especially love the penultimate ...

    May 25, 2014
  • Novel / Chapter » Action / Adventure, Romantic Re: Target Practice: Chapter Three

    Good Stuff! I haven't read the previous chapters, so if parts of my critique are easily explained by the previous chapters, ignore them. I like the characters, the action and ...

    May 25, 2014
  • Novel / Chapter » Fantasy, Action / Adventure Re: Legend of L'Karr Stone: Rise of the Mech-Warriors (Chapter 3)

    Hi there! I'll dive right in. I have a couple of suggestions: 1. I wish there was more showing instead of telling - for example let him really engage with ...

    Nov 27, 2013
  • Poetry » Narrative, General Re: fruit fetus

    Woah... this is a vivid piece. Like your other poetry, you are very good at imagery and bringing forth something different and un-thought-of. It makes me feel a whole range ...

    Jan 4, 2013
  • Novel / Chapter » Science Fiction, Teen Fiction Re: Meet the Grahambells

    I believe the grammar issues have already been pointed out by my previous reviewers, so I hope you work on those things soon. I skimmed through the comments and picked ...

    Jan 4, 2013
  • Poetry » General, Other Re: *Self-Destruct*

    I really love this, it's so creative the way you have incorporated the numeric countdown to an explosion of some sort. It effectively builds up the tension very effectively. I ...

    Jan 3, 2013
  • Short Story » Humor, Teen Fiction Re: This Morning

    It's a funny piece, well done! I will point out a few grammar and spelling mistakes here, but these aren't all of them: - You have spelt I as "i" ...

    Dec 31, 2012
  • Poetry » Romantic, Lyrical Re: She Is

    I love the imagery in this piece! It really shows that this has been written with a great deal of love for the poem's subject. I have a critique about ...

    Dec 31, 2012
  • Article / Essay » Realistic, Theatre Re: Review of The Foreigner

    Shall I review your review? This is well written, the grammar, spelling and choice of words are right on point, and your writing has a good flow. I could see ...

    Dec 30, 2012
  • Poetry » Other, Mystery / Suspense Re:

    feels like your standing in the middle of.... You mean " you're " ....There isn't a shore in sight and the only feeling of security around is burring yourself deeper ...

    Dec 29, 2012


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