Gone

Good Morning/Afternoon/Evening/Night(whichever one it is in your part of the world),

Hi! I'm here to leave a quick review!!

Anyway let's get right to it,

Summary: Kaia James is an introverted sixteen year old girl who would rather stuff her face with food in her room by herself than socialise. All that changes when she gets into a sticky situation at her Sweet Sixteenth party involving her ex-hook up who she hates but is secretly still hung up on and her best friend. Someone special walks into her life and she gradually opens up, changing her for the better. It isn't long before she realises that he really is a dream come true. But what happens when she is forced to choose between the perfect guy and the imperfect guy who claims to be perfect for her? And will she ever forgive her best friend? She's about to find out that nothing lasts forever.

Hmm, we have ourselves a bit of a synopsis here from the looks of things...or perhaps even something that could pass as a blurb if it was made a tiny but punchier. Anyway, that aside, let's get into this and see how this story sound...at first glance it seems to be a bit of a love triangle situation perhaps and those can always get quite intense in stories.

It looks like it could make for a pretty interesting story, there definitely seems to be a lot of pretty intriguing character dynamics that you plan on exploring through the story with the best friend and then the lovers. All in all, it looks like it could make for a pretty interesting plot here if you manage to capture the different scenarios properly here. It does look like the girl in this story is going to have some pretty tough things to learn in life as she navigates through this story.

At any rate, this does seem like something that I would perhaps read here. The premise seems like it could be interesting at any rate...well, anyway, that's about all I've gotta say here.

Aaaaand that's it for this one.

As always remember to take what you think was helpful and forget the rest.

Stay Safe
Harry

While it's great that you want to advertise the fanfiction story, I think that it would have been better put somewhere it belonged, like in one of the forums or even in a status update.

That's just my opinion.

Summary: Kaia James is an introverted sixteen year old girl who would rather stuff her face with food in her room by herself than socialise.

I'm not sure if this is the English spelling or not (I've made this mistake before) but that word is showing up in my American spellcheck, telling me that the 's' should be replaced with a 'z'. Because I see that further into the text 'realises' has this same problem, I'm going to lean towards the assumption that it is the English spelling.

But I'm going to mention it anyway because it is better to be safe than sorry.

All that changes when she gets into a sticky situation at her Sweet Sixteenth party involving her ex-hook up, who she hates, but is secretly still hung up on and her best friend.

Soooo, is she secretly hung up on the ex and her best friend?
Or is the hook up her best friend?
And if the ex is her best friend, why does she hate him?

This sentence needs some clarifying.

I think it's a really good summary, even though it could use a bit of work (but then, everything does).

And I hope that in the future you actually put this one YWS for us to review.

~Teen~

Ok, from what I understand, this is a summary rather than an actual story. I will still review it, because it could use some editing.

All that changes when she gets into a sticky situation at her Sweet Sixteenth party involving her ex-hook up who she hates but is secretly still hung up on and her best friend.

This could use some commas and additional words to help it flow easier:

"All of that changes when she finds herself in a sticky situation at her Sweet Sixteenth party, involving an ex-hook up (who she hates but is secretly still hung up on) and her best friend."

But what happens when she is forced to choose between the perfect guy and the imperfect guy who claims to be perfect for her?

Rewrite: "But what happens when she is forced to choose between the perfect guy, and the guy who claims to be perfect for her?"

This way, you don't have to use the word "perfect" or its derivatives 3 times in one sentence. By the way, I hope your story highlights that no one is truly perfect.

Hope this helps!