darko.demark666

Hello, I'm Casper and I'll review your work NOW!!! ;) Seriously, why did you put all those "whistlings" here? It makes the poem boring as hell. All this is so ...

Blue eyes searching A s a tear rolls down. Watch the caps. Caps, not cops :lol: You say it helps you, Clears your head , But all I see is ...

When a voilent wave, I'll just show you that and you decide if it was a mistake or not. Was my tears, This should be "were my tears" or "was ...

Amidst a dying field of daisies, A white thrush sings alone; Soft songs of faded dust and Songs of sadness never known. I don't know if you really are following ...

Out of the darkness AND Into the light God was the planner we pay the price Okay, what price? Punctuation needed. When we were still young, to young to have ...

First of all, welcome to YWS. To write… By: Quill [s]With gentle fingers, and staining ink,[/s] This line is okay, but it's definitely in the wrong place. I'd put in ...

Slowly sneaking under the huge doors Hello, welcome to YWS, a place where no one can fall down. Nice, you say, huh? Well, on the review! First of all, let's ...

Hi, I don't know if you remember me, but I'm finally back. I was absent for a long time and I'm glad to review this-your poem first. I'll just answer ...

Within this porcelain cage I wait, watching his every subtle move. One little motion shall begin our fate, we're ready to fight for what we need to prove. Okay, this ...

Hi, guys! I would sincerely love you to critique this one :D -laydra The Lion Kills Hate is like the lion,:arrow: Now, when you say something like that, when you ...

First of all, welcome to YWS. Now, onto the review. If I could ever tell you how much I loved you, I would be lying . This is totally misunderstanding, ...

This as a villanelle for my creative writing class-the repetition and rhyme scheme are required of the structure to qualify as that type. We were told to use lyrics for ...

In the cement, We etched our lives . Here you can learn to properly use semicolons. Both with our hands, And the years of her life . Lives and life ...

I’m sailing out of control[s],[/s] In your blue ocean eyes . You need to put the period here. Comma is also okay, but if you want to emphasize the next ...

Why won’t you just let me go? Without each other we’ll be fine . And don’t think that I don’t know, You’ve begun to like someone else in time . ...