Published June 15, 2009
Out of the darkness
Into the light
God was the planner
we pay the price
When we were still young,
to young to have learned
we were faced with a choice
God's wrath duly earned
Our father in heaven
saw that we knew
the difference between
the false and the true
We had to grow up,
make our own choices now
He cried for us
then wiped the sweat from his brow
We would know pain
We would know death
We would call out
with our very last breath
But we would know love
along with the pain
Devotion, emotion
Retribution and gain
With tears in his heart
He let us go
Demons and Angels
now we all know
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140,766 Literary Works • 673,687 Reviews
hey flyer this is dogs
I just wanted to say that this poem was GREAT AND I REALLY REALLY LOVE IT. i can't really find anything bad to say. ignore darko. i completly understand this, however perhaps it might make it flow better in the first stanza last line by saying we must pay the price??
other than that i think that this is a complete master piece and you don't need anything more.
TuckEr EllsworTh
Hey there, Flyer! June here!
I found this to be a pretty nice poem. The stanzas were short, with short verses-- nicely written.
I just want to point this out:
Here, I believe that the underlined "to" should be "too", dear.
I think you did a wonderful job with rhythm, dear. It flowed perfectly, and fortunately, the poem does not seem forced as it reads, nice job on that.
Keep it up.
June
I didn't get this stanza.
This is too long..or too short, I mean, the verses are. Especially the last one. It just doesn't fit.
This is amazing, but this last stanza lost it everything without punctuation.
Otherwise, the poem was great, I enjoyed reading it (over and over again).
This is amazing, and I understand everything you are saying.
The only thing I can see that is wrong with it is the fact that it has almost no pucnuation.