chrisharley

Ok, I get you that last line was contradictive. Glad you enjoyed that part of the book. I'll give the mayor a name. thanks for your feedback :)

Feedback would be extremely helpful, Thanks :)

Ok :)

Ok :)

"Or I%u2019ll skin your smile with rising suns" "Your gold hair%u2019s caught in caves again" "I%u2019m near enough to set alight" Those were lines which sort of confused me the ...

I liked the way you used your words to build emotion and tension while writing telling a story, I think your concept was great, Beasts who are after some one ...

ok, it's not finished right? it's short but instead of simplifying it to make sense in a short poem way. It holds to many metaphors and similes and comes off ...

ok, could come off better to the reader if you replace first person point of view with second person point of view example : I loved you but my heart ...

could be more original, subject wise. . Other than that decently executed.

Hmm. . . it's good and now a hint of criticism, "more twisted light? could be "twisted light and so on, and a question who stood you up? lol

You got a nice concept, if you make it shorter and clearer it could really sound impactful.