You have been my home for nineteen years.
Engraved in your walls,
are my worries and fears.
The front door is my heart,
I seldom let folk in.
The floors are well weathered as the creases in my skin.
Sometimes I loathe you,
much DIY needed.
Then some days I love you,
so proud, conceited.
Your rooms tell my story,
your scuffs are my scars.
Your structure,
my prison.
I live behind bars.
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140,530 Literary Works • 673,403 Reviews
Oh my goodness. This is wonderful! The rhyming was done in a way that doesn't make it read like a book for elementary students as some poems do
this has a very nice flow and rhythm to it. Also, the roller coaster of emotions that this poem displays is something that I really liked (oh the joys of being a teenage girl). The only thing I could really add is to make sure that all of your lines are capitalized! Very simple, I know haha! As you stated in the description, you have already edited this piece, so there is not much to change at all...I wish I would have gotten to read it before so I could compare the two! Anyways, my favorite part is the last three lines and also when you say "so proud, conceited." Great job 
I'm glad you were able to add to this--it turned out fantastic!
First of all I think this poem is far more personal than others regarding it's subject, even though it's quite an over-done subject the poem itself didn't feel overused or treated as a topic that you can wash away. This poem will stick with me for a day or two, unlike other poems.
The only real problem I have with it was the lack of exploration, maybe you could have touched upon different aspects of body image. Oh and another problem was that it was too short!
Well done, you have potential as a poet, I think!
Thank you so much!
could be more original, subject wise. . Other than that decently executed.
I know the topic of body image is an overused one,but that's where the idea of the house metaphor came from. It's not just a whiny oh poor me kind of poem. At least, I don't think it is.
Hello there! I liked the last few lines. They were creative and captured the poem effectively. I don't have much to say grammar wise.
The line "much DIY needed" was random to me. Then again, I didn't understand what you meant. Also I suggest you remove the period on the line "my prison" and just put a comma. Other than that, I enjoyed reading! It was great in content and rhyme scheme.
Best wishes,
Emily