16+

A red play, Dystopian drama. First three chapters.

Warning: This work has been rated 16+.

PreviousNext

Where have all the flowers gone? It had been nine hundred years after the holy were saved. "The forgotten"; those not saved, were left behind, I am one of them. We haven't aged a bit since he left us.The young, are still young. The old, are still old. Our towns are small,and no flowers grow there. We are immortal which is a curse laid on us by God who knows it's torture, our only way to die. . To be killed

In this new world, every town centers around, "The Light City", the only city with electricity.The Light City is the center of everything now. The surrounding villages are ruled by a renaissance in art, especially theater, since tv is rare now. Lane is the biggest actress around and is a school teacher.

Lane is a short girl with the brightest green eyes you'll ever see, Her skin is a pale but warm. lately, she has been very interested in,"The spaceship", a craft being build to fly the town's people to God's earth. Lane has fallen in love with a man named, Harley Dean and she wants to go away with him to God's new earth. I know that, because I am him. We have been together for eight months, and Lane is getting worried a long eternity may eventually diminish our love. We had seen it happen dozens of times before, in each other's own past relationships. Some that lasted almost two hundred years, eventually died out. Lane is in love now more than ever, and we can't consider suicide. I am an engineer for the spaceship and Lane is the biggest stage actress around.

"Good morning, kids", Lane said to her students, as she began taking out a book to read to them. from under her desk. "I saw your play last night!", Benny, a more than lively student of hers, shouted. "Oh! Glad you went", she paused. "Well did you like it?", she asked Benny, who was now coloring on his desk. "Yeah", he replied. "It was okay. It wasn't fun though. People were crying", Lane laughed. "Did your parents like it?" She asked him. "No, they don't like anything!", Benny told Lane who laughed again amusedly . "Okay, can you all get ready for storytime. Lane asked the kids who began to take their chairs and brought them to the front of the classroom. "What are you going to read today?", Anna, a small blond little girl, asked Lane. "Eden and the farmer, a story about this farmer who comes down from space and builds a great big farm for a hungry village.

"Why are the people hungry? Anna asked again scratching her soft chin. "Because, they can't grow food themselves. They are stuck in a little island. " How did they get stuck in the island?, Benny now asked. "You're all going to find that out once I read the story right?" she asked her eagerly excited class.

"Okay, you can read the story", said Benny. Lane told them the story and the kids hung on to every word she read aloud to them, the class wanting to find out more about who the mysterious farmer was, and how the people of the island were reacting to the alien farmer. Once Lane finished reading the book.

The class cheered, and knew after storytime Lane always came up with a song for the story she had just read, and sang it along with the class. The kids liked her songs. Lane played her guitar and sang her song along with the kids. "Come on Andy sing along with us", she told Andy, the youngest child in the class, who always shyly denied singing along with them. Lane convinced him to at least hum along. He hummed along quietly as the class sang the song. She clapped when the kids finished singing. "Hello, Lane", said a girl who was standing near her door. It was Clara, Her Class assistant, who she had hired to help along. "Are we going to teach numbers today?", Anna asked Clara. "I don't think so", Clara told her smiling. "Were going to do some art today". Lane took out a box of art supplies and handed it to Clara who then happily went across the room handing them out. "Ouch!" Clara heard a little girl say. She quickly rushed over to help her. She realized the girl had gotten a paper cut. She grabbed the little girl's hand and wrapped a band-aid around the child's small finger. "What are you going to make ?" Clara asked the little girl. "I want to make those paper snowflakes, I always try to get it right, but I mess up cause I can't get the shapes cut right. "Want me to help you?", Clara told the little girl. "Okay", she replied. Clara handed the little girl a sheet of blank paper. "You can draw the snowflake and I will cut it for you, so you can get it how you want it". The little girl took the paper and began to draw it out. Clara helped out the other students as well with their art until the end of the class. At the end of the class, the kids thanked Clara and happily said goodbye to Lane as they left the classroom. Lane was happy the kids had a good time at school that day, "Are you are going to meet Harley today ?" Clara asked Lane. "Yes", she replied with a smile almost brought down by tears. "We will get there one day", Lane then said..

I met Lane after her class had ended. She and I took a slow walk over to a small river. We sat next to its waters. Lane rubbed her hand in its cold water and her hand shivered.The lack of heat had made the water almost ice. "Do you think he'll ever come back for us?" Lane asked. I thought about it like I always had tackled that question before, silent and scared. "Lane teared up her head leaning deep on my chest. I tried to calm her, but as I opened my mouth my own sadness was heard and I choked.

We both stared at god's new earth floating above in the blue sky. It was ghostly like the moon." 9 more weeks and will be there", I told Lane. She looked at me now kind of smiling. "Yesterday you said 8 months", Lane said.

"Were getting closer", I responded. "I got everyone helping me build the rockets. You know Jonathan, one of the farmers down here?" I asked her.

"yeah. .why"? Lane asked. "I got him helping me. Yeah, he's kind of smart".We laughed and then a long pause.

We walked our way back to town. It had gotten dark. While we walked alongside the town's wide dirt road, I looked into the distance and saw a crowd of people who were holding bright, torches. They were standing around something. Lane and I ran over. "What's happening here?" I asked the nearest person gathered around the scene. "Someone was murdered! She was crucified! I could hear the shock in the person's tone. I got past enough of the crowd to see a young, female nailed on a wooden cross, clothed in a white robe, blood staining it violently. "Clara"! Lane shouted. She then got close to her and began to cry. "Clara!", Lane cried again.

I then heard a man behind me explain, "She was in a play with Lane two days ago. It was her first play, she had been studying with Lane for five years preparing for an acting career, poor girl."

I saw Lane's face was covered in tears. "Who did this to you?" She asked under her shaky breath. "This was not the way people wanted to go. By being unwillingly killed. . . Clara wanted to be a great actress." Lane wiped her tears as people gathered around the cross and began taking Clara's her pale cold body down.

"Are you Lane?" A man coming out from the crowd and asked Lane. I could see he was a detective. He came with two other cops, one to write down notes for him, the detective was missing his right arm. "Whoever killed this girl, it was not mutual", the detective told us. "Her body is bruised, she was beaten, she struggled."

"What kind of help can I provide?" Lane asked the detective. "When was the last time you saw Clara?" The detective asked Lane. "Today, just after two, she was going to the Shakespeare Library. I was supposed to meet her tomorrow for acting lessons".

"Do you know about anyone who might have been close to Clara?" The detective asked her.

"Do you really got to do this now?" I asked the detective. "She has just seen her friend's, dead, beaten body!" The cop paused and stared at me almost suspecting I was stalling and might have had something to do with Clara's death. "Okay". The detective said. "Will talk tomorrow". Lane nodded.

That night Lane sat thinking about who could've killed Clara. She didn't move much. I, afraid of her sanity, decided I would help her figure out the killer. I asked her about who Clara knew. Late that night. She had come to something. "Do you have a copy of,"Art Times Magazine?" she asked loudly. "Yes", I replied "Why? What month do you need?" I got and took out a crate of books and magazines. "I need June!" She told me. I Scurried threw the covers of magazines as Lane explained. "Harry Watts, The artist! I read about him! In that magazine, he was talking about a new kind of art a depraved, post dystopian, art. " Where he would stage live scenes of torture, murder, and rape, presented to a group of Art critics, and make that his Art. He stages the art anywhere! In the food market and in the streets."

"We can ask members of the Art world!" Lane said."But, how will we be certain they will give Clara's description I asked. " Harry Watts only uses women in his "Art", she explained

. The next day, Lane and I met with Art critics of the popular, "Art Times Magazine".We sat with them in their conference room. The conference room had large round windows with no glass or frame. The men sat close together on one side of a long silver table, us in the other. The art critics all wore reflective, plastic- like, black suits. "We have seen many art installations by Harry Watts. Please describe Clara more specifically". One art critic said, coughing often, and inhaling from a gas tank under his feet. Lane described Clara to him. "She had dyed yellow hair and she always wore a white cloth around her neck to cover burn marks she had gotten a long time ago. "The Cactus girl"! The man with the oxygen tank. responded, laughing, and coughing hysterically and then inhaling his oxygen tank furiously. "Yes, she was beaten by a long cactus plant. She never screamed! Most quiet death Harry Watts had ever performed. She cried like a cat! The man joked happily. "She was murdered!" Lane said angrily, leaping off her chair. "That bastard killed her! Lane began to cry, looking at the Art critic disgusted at how amusingly, he had recalled Clara's tragic death. "You people made it right for this event to happen. You, see your chance to praise an insane man's perversions, and you cash in on it calling it the newest art!" Lane slapped the coughing man. He dropped his oxygen mask quickly, picking it up now breathing very sickly and heavily. "Okay, Okay. We will find Harry Watts. Will help you get him arrested!" The man agreed staring at us angrily. I got up and wrapped my arm around Lane. Hoping now she would calm down.

We waited the next day inside the police station for Henry Watts to show up in cuffs. "They aren't going to help us", Lane said hopelessly. We then heard the voice of a cop talking to someone who yelling, coming into the station. Lane and I braced ourselves to see Harry Watts come to the police station 's door in handcuffs "Arrest them!" a man shouted as he neared us. We surprised to see a short bald man, pointing at us as cops surrounded us and placed our hands behind our backs. "Why are you arresting us!?" I shouted at the cops.

Chapter 2

We waited inside the police station's jail cell hall. Outside, we could hear our detective asking the officer questions. We had been accused of the curious murders of the four art critics we had visited yesterday, they had been found shot to death. I felt a new disgust for Harry Watts, for I knew he had to be the one who had committed those murders. I heard the jail cell hall door open and in came an officer. He approached our cell and opened it. "You can go", said the officer. Lane and I walked out and into the police station's detective office. The detective working on Clara's murder case approached us.

"The man doesn't have any evidence that you two really killed the four art critics", The detective told us. "Does the police have anything on Harry Watts?" I asked the detective."They have a whole book of records on him, but no convictions". He has been accused of killing children in his art exhibitions. I'm going to find this sick bastard", the detective said angrily.

"Who is the bald man?" I asked him. "He is the owner of an art museum around here.

The angry looking bald man came into the room, "Those men were going to be funding my museum, This two killed them because they think they murdered some girl."

"Harry Watts murdered her"! Lane shouted at the man.

"Harry Watts has been missing for the last two years! He hasn't had one exhibition in thirty years! " The bald man told us angrily. Lane looked at the man confused ". . . What?" she said faintly. at that moment a cop came through the door with a folder and handed it to The one-armed detective, The detective read it and paused. He then explained, ". . .Harry Watts is dead. He committed suicide three years ago. They found his body near the Light city's suicide tower". The bald man whipped sweat off his head with a towel and turned to us and said. "If we don't find the killer or killers of those four Art critics, you two are in trouble. I felt a cold empty air inside me. I held lane as I also knew she was feeling the same. The one-armed detective looked at me and Lane now with strong suspicion. He glanced at us oddly and we left saying nothing. We left the station, wanting to forget what we had just heard.

Lane had decided to leave acting for a while and focus on being a teacher at her school. I accompanied Lane to the school to educate the kids on the spaceship. I came into Lane's classroom, It was oddly warm and glowed from the morning sun outside. "Hello, students!" Lane told the children. I waved to the kids.

"Is that the space ship guy?", a boy asked enthusiastically. "Yes", Lane replied to the boy. I took a piece of chalk from the classroom's board and began to draw the spaceship, it. I then drew god's planet. "When are we going to get on the spaceship", one of the children asked, ". . . We are working on that", I told the boy."Soon!" I said to him, reassuring him.

"I need all of you to listen to Mr. Dean" Lane told the kids.

"He is going to teach us why in the future you will all be getting inside the spaceship".

I took a paper rose from my pocket. Any of you know what this is?" I asked the students.

"It's paper", a little girl said, and all the kid's agreed. "No, students" Lane told them, "It is a flower".

"What's a flower?" the little girl asked, "It is a plant that grows from the ground or on trees, and they can be very colorful and smell very nice, but we don't have any here they only exist on god's planet out in space."

"What else do they have in God's' planet?" asked a boy.

"Are people happy there?" asked the boy again. "Yes", I replied to him. "Aren't people happy here?"

Asked the boy once more. "No, they are not", I responded uneasily. "You will all soon get to the spaceship and you'll go to a better place", Lane told the kids. "Are there going to be more kids there?" Asked a little girl who was folding a paper airplane. "They're not many kids here", the little girl said. "There will be", Lane told the girl smiling, who then threw the paper airplane outside the classroom's window. "When is Clara going to visit us?", a kid asked curiously why wasn't she here yesterday. Lane's face saddened and then quickly took out a book from her desk. It was a picture book. inside were drawings of flowers drawn by the students. "Were going to hang your pictures in the school's hallway", Lane told her students. The students got up excited and took the drawings they had done.

Anna walked up to get her drawing from Lane's desk who was handing them out."She was hurt wasn't she?" The little girl told lane. "Anna, how do you know that?" asked Lane. "I saw her in the street when I was walking with my mom. She was really hurt." Clara had been Anna's favorite person. Lane opened up her folder and took out Her drawing. It was colorful and vivid, Clara had helped her with it. Lane got up and hugged the little girl, who began to cry. I began to help paste the drawing in the school's hallway. I looked at the kids who were playing with lane and laughing, but I could see Anna was not happy. Lane and the class decided to go outside. It was windy but the kids liked it and they began to run around and play. "Are you going to sing today?" I heard a boy ask Lane as I stepped outside. Lane smiled "Where is Benny?" She asked the boy. "He is digging a big hole!" The boy said. She laughed, "tell him to come and help me sing!" The boy ran away to get him. It was a cloudy day, but most of the kids were happy. Lane began to sing with Benny and held his hand, scraping off the dirt from his palm with her nails. Their voices harmonized into a joyful tune, as they sang in the background I could not keep my eyes from Anna who sat on the swings looking sad. I walked up to her "How was Clara like?" I asked anna. She quickly turned startled by my voice. "Want me to push you?" I asked her. She nodded yes. A quiet moment passed as I pushed her on the swing. "She walked me home once." I heard Anna say. "When she was walking me home this big guy grabbed her neck and took her into into a forest. I got scared so I ran", I froze when I heard what she had just told me. She then continued to explain "I couldn't help her, The man screamed at me, and I got scared."

"Do you know what happened next?" I asked Anna. "The next day she came to school and I heard her crying in the bathroom. I never told her, I had overheard her."Anna told me. I felt like I had just swallowed a rock hearing what she was telling me. "Time to get ready to go home." I heard Lane say in the background. Anna leaped from the swing. "Can you take me where she was taken by the man?", I asked her. "Can Mrs. Lane come to?" She asked. "Of course", I told her. As the kids went out, I met Lane and told her what I had just been told. We left the school and followed Anna. "Mrs. Lane!" I heard a kid shout from behind Lane and I turned to see who it was. "Benny! how did you found us?" Lane asked Benny who came toward us running. "I wanted to know where you were going", he told her. I looked at Anna who stared at Benny knowing she had told him about Clara aswell. "You know why you are following us?" I asked Benny. He looked at us both before admitting what we knew, "Okay, I'm following you because, I want to see where the monster attacked Clara" Lane held Benny by the hand. and without saying nothing else we followed Anna as she lead us to where the "monster had attacked Clara.

We finally stopped at the point where Clara had been attacked. We were in the middle of a woods path, the trees were a very dark green and were tall and thick. I could see no houses around. only sign posts. We stepped into the woods where Clara had been taken.

The forest was very large, he could have taken her anywhere. as Lane walked towards where I stood, We heard Anna scream. I ran quickly into the woods where she was, afraid something bad had happened to her. As I approached her, she quickly ran towards me crying. I saw very quickly in the distance a scattered mass grave of decomposing bodies. I couldn't believe my eyes. I walked Anna out of the forest fast. "What happened to Anna?!" Lane asked me anxiously. "There is a pile of dead bodies out there in that forest", I told her. She became paniced and we walked out in a hurry away from the woods. When we made it away from the area, Lane hugged Anna who had been traumatized once again. Benny who was with us looked confused. "What did Anna see?" Benny asked Lane. "Don't go near those woods!" Lane told Benny. "Why?" he asked. "The monster hurts people around there". Lane placed her hands on his shoulders to keep him from getting frightened. "Were they ugly and scary?" Benny turned to Anna and asked her. Anna agreed and nodded.

I spent that whole night working on drafts for the spaceship's engine. The room was lit by candles, Lane stood behind me chewing on a dry peach taking a bite from it then offering it to me and handing it over. "We don't have enough fuel for the spaceship", I told to Lane.

"Didn't the town build a whole corn plantation for the fuel supply two years ago?" Lane told me. "There isn't enough crop for the fuel. Most of it keeps rotting. The crop only lasts about a year because of the cold.

"We need more field", I told Lane."If the town wants to get enough of the fuel that means everyone would have to help grow the corn," I told her. I place my pencil down and got up. I held my head on Lane's forehead. and held her. "We have been trying for years, God didn't leave us with the supplies to leave this earth". I told her sadly. "What if", said lane. "What if I do another play, with this play we can ask the town to help us grow the fuel for the spaceship!" Lane told me. her eyes wide open with excitement. "What would it be about?" I asked her. "It will be the story about the town and its people. About a farmer and Eden. A lonely farmer without enough crop for the spaceship, and a mortal woman who arrives to town and falls in love with the farmer, the farmer inspired by the woman begins to get the whole town to build a huge farm with enough crop to send him and the woman to a place where he and she can live without fear. . . of ever really losing her and living without her. I took out a stack of paper and sat down. "That play may be our only hope of convincing most of the town to help us grow the crop for the fuel. . . It could actually work. I can help you write a draft for the play.Tell me how it begins? I asked her. We began to write the play.

Next morning, I laid asleep on a chair. Lane was up when she heard a knock on the door. She woke me up, "Who could that be?" I asked and walked up to open the door. I opened it and a man in a white suit and red hair greeted me, "Hello, the man said. "I am here because, I had heard you two had found a group of corpses in the woods."

"Yes, what do you want to know?" I asked him, He walked inside the house. "I think I may be able to help you solve what might have happened to them", the man said. We sat around the kitchen's table and began to talk. "Who told you we found the bodies?' Lane asked him. "I had heard some kids talking about it near the area".

"How are you going to help identify what happened to those people?" Lane asked him. The man smiled. "A girl was attacked there a while back, in that very same spot, I met her in a hospital where I had been, She told me the man had raped her and had tried to kill her,she escaped, the girl explained she had seen the man in the audience of a play she had been in. He was a crazed fan who had become obsessed with her. I heard she was murdered a while back, and I think I can help you determine who killed her as well." The man got up "Can I use your bathroom?" The man asked. Lane pointed at the bathroom's hall and he got up from the table and left. Lane also got up and began to pick up and throw away old drafts and newspapers from the kitchen table, as she picked up a newspaper she looked at the cover with the words, "Man Wanted ", on the front cover was a picture of Harry Watts. "That's him!" I heard Lane tell me. My heart began beating fast, I got up to see, "That's him he looks just like him", she said again. "Please leave! He is going to let us know who the killer is and not in a good way!" I told her, "No", she replied. "I won't leave you here with him he is going to kill you!" I could not leave Harry Watts alone in the house the cops would never believe me he was there he was supposed to be dead. "You have to go!", I told lane.

"No, he is going to kill you"! She repeated. "I won't let him!", I told her and grabbed a large kitchen knife. I then saw Lane pull out a gun from her dress pockets, Her face wrinkled and teared up. "I'm not leaving", she told me. "Why do you have a gun?" I asked her. Guns were rare and illegal in this times they were only used by police."We waited for Harry Watts to come back". He came into the kitchen carrying an automatic rifle he had snuck in.

"No!" Lane screamed as Harry watts fired away furiously at me. Lighting up the kitchen with gunfire flashes. My body quickly filled up with holes. Lane who was hidden Got up and shot Harry watts in the head. His brains spilling on the kitchen floor. Lane let out a high pitch yell. She trembled as she fell down on her knees, her arms holding my head.

chapter 3

I lay struggling for air for Harry watts had just filled my chest with gunshots. Lane got up I could feel her tears fall on my chest as she unbuttoned my shirt to look at the severity of my injuries. I couldn't talk from the pain and I was losing consciousness. She stared at my watery eyes filled with tears from sadness and pain. My face covered in blood and spazzing from shock. "Harley!" She screamed. "No!" She screamed again. The last thing I saw before I passed out was her shimmering Green eyes, and the last thing I smelled was her perfume as she held me up"."You can't die, you can't die, you can't die", I repeated to myself then passed out.

I had sustained the gunshots, but I was in a coma. Lane had stopped over at the hospital with her students to visit me. "Wake up, Wake up", Benny said into my ear as I lay in the hospital bed with my eyes closed. Lane sat at my bedside holding my hand. "Please don't die. " Lane whispered to me quietly.

"The monster is gone", Anna said to me. Another child walked over to see me. "Our parents are going to help you get the corn for the spaceship." A kid told me. "The whole class then agreed.

When, the kids left the room. Lane stayed behind by my bedside. "Please come back", Lane said.

Her eyes wrinkled and saddened as she tried to hold her tears back. "Please come back . . ."

Her hands softly graced my face. "Please come back or. . . I'm going to kill myself", she said, clearing tears from her face. "I've finished the play. I decided to call it, "A red play", Do you want to know the ending?. . .The farmer he arrives at God's earth where he finds Eden. And he and the girl go on to live a normal life without a torturous hell. Please don't go." Lane repeated once again.

Later, Lane had to leave the hospital room as the doctor and nurses came in. She spent a long time outside the hospital room waiting for the doctor and the nurses to leave.

Outside she waited with a couple kids as well. Anna waited outside seated next to Lane,"Who is going to play the farmer in the play? " Anna asked Lane, who waited outside with Lane. "Dean is." Lane responded. "He is going to play the farmer."

"But, he doesn't know how to act!" Anna told her. "Yes he does", Lane told her. "Right now he is playing dead", she smiled her face wet with tears. "Then why are you crying?", asked Anna. Lane laughed. It had gotten late and the doctor hadn't come out. Lane began to get worried. The hall had become dark and quiet, and most of the children had left when their parents came to pick most of them up. All the parents consoled Lane as they left with their kids. When Anna's mom arrived. Lane decided to go to the bathroom. She stood looking in front of the bathroom mirror, She took out a bullet from her pocket and the gun I had seen with her before. She loaded the bullet into the gun's barrel. . . . But then decided to take it out. As she stepped out of the bathroom. She heard Benny shouting."He woke up! He woke up!". Lane rushed and brushed the tears from her eyes running quickly towards the hospital room.

"How do you feel?", Lane heard Benny telling me. I looked around and saw Lane. Lane quickly hugged me. "Not too bad." I told Benny as I hugged Lane. "You were not going to leave, you were not going to leave", Lane repeated as I held her in my arms. The wounds In my chest hurt, but I hugged Lane with all my strength. "We are going to fly away from here"! I told her. "To god's planet and if not there anywhere, not here, not here this is hell", I told Lane.

"I finished the play!", Lane told me as she got up and took out the manuscript. "I wrote it beacause I knew you were going to come back", she told me her hands holding the manuscript tight. "What's the name of the play?" I asked her " A red play Lane", she replied .

I left the hospital early even though I still felt sharp pains In my chest where bullets still were. The set for the play was being put up by Vince who was Anna's father, he was a painter, he had done most of the backgrounds for the play. The play was going to be held outside, hundreds of chairs were lined up. Lane was holding auditions for the play in a corner of the stage. I took care of her class. The kids were asking me questions about animals since there wasn't any on this earth anymore. I explained to them how a bird looked like. They grew excited as I told them how they could fly and how they could sing. Benny tried to mimic a bird's whistle as I gladly showed him how birds sang. The kids laughed. As I entertained the children, I saw the town's mayor approach me. "Will there be any lights needed for the play?" The mayor asked. The mayor of the town was the 400th mayor the town has had, most of the mayors committed suicide. This mayor was the mortal son of the past mayor who had helped fund the spaceship's engineering and construction. It had taken us a long time to find people who knew about welding metal and electricity since this generation had lost part of their memory about some stuff like that, ever since the rapture. "Yes", I told the mayor who asked if The play would need lighting equipment. "I heard you were almost killed", the mayor asked me. "Yeah". I replied. "So have you heard about Harry Watts?" He then asked. "No!" I said to him,"What haven't I heard?" I told him. "The man that was killed, that wasn't exactly Harry watts". The mayor told me.

"We just found that out this morning, I' m sorry I have to tell you that but it's true. We are not sure who that was but he was made up to look like Harry Watts." I couldn't believe what he had just told me. "Lane!" I called out to her who was on the stage, she heard me and approached. "Need help with the kids?", she asked. "No", I replied". "Tell her", I told the mayor."Harry Watts, isn't dead", the mayor told her. You killed an unknown imposter. I'm pretty sure Harry Watts Hired him to kill Harley Dean." Lane's face stood still with surprise.

"Were is Harry Watts?" Lane asked him. "Have you located him?"

"Yes", the mayor replied. "We have located him ,This may surprise you as to why we can't arrest him for Clara's death!" I looked at the mayor Confused as so did lane "Wasn't Clara Killed?" Lane asked. "Not exactly", The mayor said. "Harry Watts had a note he was handed to by Clara, stating the approval of her death in his Art ritual, We confirmed Clara's handwriting in that note."

"What?" Clara said baffled. "Clara agreed to get killed?" She asked the mayor. "Apparently so", said they mayor "And that is why we can't arrest Harry Watts.

Clara's death was his latest Art exhibition in years, and he has more exhibitions in mind. Tonight he will be holding a viewing of his latest Art a the town's White Bridge. Lane did not want to accept the fact Clara had committed suicide. "He killed Clara! She couldn't have committed suicide, we were working on her next play. She could have not of committed suicide!" She explained desperately to the mayor, staring at him, her head nodding against his facts. "You must be getting something wrong." Lane suggested. "I killed that man!, I killed Harry Watts! I killed Harry Watts! I killed Harry Watts! she repeated over and over, and then leaped on me crying.

Comments & reviews · 3
Note: You are not logged in, but you can still leave a comment or review. Before it shows up, a moderator will need to approve your comment (this is only a safeguard against spambots). Leave your email if you would like to be notified when your message is approved.

User avatar
kevin25a
Review

Ok I will start by saying I loved the story. But I noticed many times you misplaced quotations, and a couple typos. About half of your quotations were misplaced or missing, mostly around the middle. I think if the mayor is delivering such important news he should have a name. Also if Clara agreed to be killed the note wouldn't have been given to the killer, it would have been given to police to avoid incriminating Harry Watts, that alone should be an obvious giveaway. A note of consent from a killer would never be believed. Other than that really good job, I liked the story a lot.

Ok, I get you that last line was contradictive. Glad you enjoyed that part of the book. I'll give the mayor a name. thanks for your feedback :)

Random avatar
chrisharley
Comment

Feedback would be extremely helpful, Thanks :)



There’s always a story. It’s all stories, really. The sun coming up every day is a story. Everything’s got a story in it. Change the story, change the world.
— Terry Pratchett