You spread my patience thin
Like a pitiful portion of butter across stone cold toast.
I try to rationalise your ignoring as an ignorance, on your part, of my feelings,
But I can find no reason for your blunt refusal to see my presence
Other than your abhorance and snobberence of myself.
I stress, I fluster, I sink into a musty, grey place,
Where only more twisted light and thoughts can reach me.
The minutes are placed upon on a stretching rack
And torturously drawn out by your negligent inaction.
I convince myself that this kettle will not boil if I watch,
But distraction does little to soothe my itch.
Some little voice in the back of my head knows
That you will have a perfectly reasonable excuse
To stand me up.
I can see you are here, yet you refuse to acknowledge
To give a hello,
And I wonder why I subject myself
To the trying trials
Of a facebook conversation
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Canary word: Present
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125,005 Literary Works • 672,801 Reviews
This is very interesting twist. I like how you described not wanting to respond but so compelled to do so. It goes in the mind of everybody on Earth with a facebook.
You didn't have any grammatical errors I noticed, but I'm not good with poetry either. You'll need someone else for that. But great work! Hope to see more from you! 
This is very interesting twist. I like how you described not wanting to respond but so compelled to do so. It goes in the mind of everybody on Earth with a facebook.
You didn't have any grammatical errors I noticed, but I'm not good with poetry either. You'll need someone else for that. But great work! Hope to see more from you! 
This is very interesting twist. I like how you described not wanting to respond but so compelled to do so. It goes in the mind of everybody on Earth with a facebook.
You didn't have any grammatical errors I noticed, but I'm not good with poetry either. You'll need someone else for that. But great work! Hope to see more from you! 
My thoughts exactly.
Amazing.
My thoughts exactly.
Amazing.
Hmm. . . it's good and now a hint of criticism, "more twisted light? could be "twisted light
and so on, and a question who stood you up? lol
OHMYGOODNESS. I loved this poem. Seriously, amazing. I find modern means of communication and what its like to grow up immersed in them is such an interesting topic of discussion from the get-go and I dont understand why more people dont talk about it, So much food for thought. Your piece is very applicable , I think all of us who have a facebook have experienced the feeling of a ''seen'' message that isn't being responded to, So in regards to subject matter and content you got it down. I also love your use of grammar, not usually something I enjoy playing with or looking at in poetry usually but you just use it in a way that really draw attention to the words in the right places, for example ; ''That you will have a perfectly reasonable excuse
To stand me up.'' That period fits so lovely there, really makes you see the finality in your voice, in your head. I'm sorry I didnt provide and criticism.. I simply couldn't.
Great job, looking forward to reading more of your work.
~Booshian.
One of the things I find interesting about this poem is that The topic is something I think many will be able to relate to, myself included. Though I have to agree with BrittleBird it is odd that you didn't put a period at the end of your last sentence. I'm guessing it's just a small typo. Otherwise your poem is fantastic! For something you whipped up in a matter of minutes it is really good! However parts of your poem sound a little redundant. Otherwise really nice writing! Few people have the gift to thread their words together as well as you do. Nice Job!
One small thing I would like to point out, right off the bat, is the lack of period at the very end of your poem. That felt strange to me, since you used punctuation otherwise.
Also, this part: "...ignoring as an ignorance, on your part, of my feelings," felt confusing. Either because there shouldn't be a comma between part and of, or I'm confused of exactly what you are trying to say.
This poem was otherwise great.
"I convince myself that this kettle will not boil if I watch,
But distraction does little to soothe my itch." This is my favorite line; very thoughtful. I also enjoy the whole poem's dressing of (what seems like) very sarcastic drama.
Thanks for posting this piece!
-BrittleBird