carelessaussie13

Is this about cutting? here's something to think about. Consider using more romantic words, like luminescent and resplendant. I mean, don't necessarily use those words exactly, but try words you ...

Imagery is definitely an issue here. There are a lot of poems about dreaming out there, and ninety percent have the title DREAMING or DREAM. Try going for something more ...

This is probably the worst crit I've ever written, because I have no idea what I'm saying. This poem was very, very good, but something was off. The imagery seemed ...

"And drown into my soul" Ummm..... Perhaps you meant "I am drowning in your soul"? it would make more sense. To me, it soulds like it is from the perspective ...

This poem is very very beautiful, very stirring. One quick thing. I wouldn't love you any different if you would have been a boy This line is choppy, as are ...

Beautiful, absolutely beautiful. I spend a lot of my time trying to write successful nature poetry and you've got it. But when I write about the world, I find that ...

Pretty much everything that there is to be said has already been said, but I would like to add that this poem seemed somewhat choppy. Something that I think would ...

THE GOOD It's really cute. I could just see it in a little kid's book somewhere. It's funny in spots and you kept with the couplet format nicely (I would ...

This is beautiful and I could see your friendship blossoming into something more. I loved the wording and the little things, the nicknames and the sparkling cider. My only real ...

This poem is on a good topic but It didn't stir any emotion for me. Show us, don't tell us. Show us how the father in the poem starts drinking ...

The last two lines were off rhythm and didn't add much to the poem. The repetition was getting boring. I knew the entire feeling and subject of the poem by ...

This sounds exactly like the fields behind my house only a pear tree instead. I think you really captured the beauty of the field and the tree and the horses ...

I had no idea, reading it, that this was from the perspective of a kitten. So a suggestion: try making that clearer, if you're really attached tot he idea, or ...

Ooh! Pick me pick me! Maybe you could try setting the poem from the perspective of the same narrator as you have in this version, but instead set it as ...

I'm going to say this first. Yay! I love people who care about people! I'm going to say this second. In the first crit, claudette crossed out all the two-line ...