bubblewrapped

I like this - short, sweet and succinct. I particularly liked the seven years - broken mirror, seven years bad luck, etc. Nice. The formatting of the lines of dialogue ...

I have to admit, this poem isn’t really my thing. That said, I think it’s fairly well written. A few things, though: 1. Some of your phrases are very awkwardly ...

While this was not exactly a highly original piece, I liked it. You have a good grasp of rhythm and the rhyming did not seem forced. I particularly liked the ...

Hm. I liked it, but at the same time it felt a little too bald - too much telling, not enough showing, I think. A girl feels sexy when she ...

I liked this. The message made it, I think, and I like the way it was so clearly and concisely put. The only real problem for me is that it's ...

This poem has a lot of potential, but there are some things I think you need to work on. The first is the punctuation; I think misfit went over that ...

Wow, that was actually very beautiful - I love the way it flows so simply. I think I'm going to be reduced to the nit-pickiest of nit-picking to give you ...

In many ways I really liked this, particularly the penultimate stanza; you’ve taken a subject that is somewhat cliché and turned it into an interesting and absorbing piece. That said, ...

Hey there, welcome to YWS! I've edited the "title" area to "Untitled" as it's easier for people to click on than a question mark. You also don't have to fill ...

I really enjoyed this - the style is fittingly abstract and to the point. Well done. I did have a bit of the problem with the line "from every point ...

There are some wonderful images in this, and the language was excellent - I particularly liked "just a group of drunks..." and "please join the good people in tearing the ...

That was actually pretty good. A sweet story, if a little sappy. A few things to watch out for: Firstly, you have a lovely rhythm going but it does get ...

I liked what you were trying to convey here, but there are a few issues with the form. Since it’s so short I’ll go through line-by-line and try to work ...

OK, first of all, you need to make things clearer because I’m really not sure what you’re trying to say in that first bit there. Is “A World Around Me” ...

You have typos in the title. Otherwise, I have nothing to add save that I love the ending and the line breaks. Very effective. Also, "if we would have" seems ...