bubblewrapped

Hush, Brad, remember what we've told you about using your claws on newbies! You might scare them all away! Dont mind him, in_too_deep, he is a great poet but he ...

Ooh DQ's channelling Incandescence! Anyway, I dont mean to be rude but I must say I agree about the goose. Why a goose? It doesnt make sense. Well, I'm going ...

"O for a Muse of Fire" is Shakespeare - Henry V. No idea about the tigers though O_O On another note, a really interesting poem. It fit perfectly with my ...

Personally, I like it the way it is. Granted, I've never been much of a stickler for anything (except spelling, but no complaints there), so I'm not fussy. But I ...

I agree, I'm not sure about the last few lines. They seemed a bit jerky, particularly the last two. But I did like the tone of the piece, and the ...

Interesting. Not exactly unique, if you ask me, but you've got a nice style :wink: I'm going to go over this jsut quickly as its getting late, so bear with ...

I disagree. I think it's perfect the way it is (although mabbe I'm just a lazy critiquer, LOL). The syncopated rhythm really got me, as did the vagueness. You can ...

Well, since you asked so nicely...I'll take this verse by verse. As I stumble onto the stage My shadow walks beside me without complaint Silent slender feet padding onto the ...

I agree that it wasnt quite as smooth as it could have been, but the link between the title and the ending was well done and I loved the ending ...

Again, I liked it. It does have a wee bit of a disjointed feel to it but I think that helps with the concept of the emotion. Particularly love the ...

Beautiful...and yet strangely incomplete. A few little nit-picks: "and know our own eyes" Not sure about this - seems off somehow. Maybe its the rhythm or maybe the almost-rhyme makes ...

What? Didnt I comment on this already? Goodness, I thought I had. Anyway, I shall make up for the lapse with lavish praise, because seriously, this poem rocks. The combination ...

You know I love your work Incandescence. Seriously. I particularly liked the "S-ing" and "pale pink face of hunger" lines. Like astrangedbear said, it feels almost real. Wasnt too choppy ...

I have to say that it was confusing, but I'm kind of out of practice at poetry now so ... maybe its me. Anyway, I really loved it despite not ...

This is a good poem, particularly for only a second attempt at poetry (!!!). The only issue I have with it is as Blue Haze said, the repetition of "and". ...