Hm. Haven't seen you in a while - I didn't know you wrote poetry. And exceedingly well.
A bit exhausting on the "I want"s - could you have not used something else? In any case, as Imp has said, this line is awkward and jolts the rhythmatic flow of the poem:
(but I don't want it to hurt).
All together, I think I could do without it.
The ending was outstanding, and I love the entire concept.
Points: 890
Reviews: 688
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