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Re: Died for love...
Hey! I like it. It's the sort of desperate poem that I love once in a while, and for the most part, it was great. I know you were aiming ...
Sep 22, 2010 -
Re: The Date
Hey, winterbaby. Sorry if I'm harsh, but Catcher in the Rye is one of my favorite books, and I had to study it very closely during English last year. I'm ...
Jul 6, 2010 -
Re: The Troll
Hey! First off, I love the descriptions. They provide great imagery, and I could picture the troll quite clearly. Just have a couple of nit-picks: We slowed down to a ...
Jun 28, 2010 -
Re: 42
Hello! I just have a few nit-picks that Kiara missed. standing on tables and signing Christmas carols in the middle of June become the norm after a while. I assume ...
Jun 11, 2010 -
Re: I'll be there
Heyo! You have a very sweet idea, and this poem has a lot of potential, but try to add more detail! Your poem at the moment is somewhat cliche, as ...
May 27, 2010 -
Re: Castle series CHAPTER 2 IS HERE
Hey T. Overall, it's not half bad. You've got some grammatical and spelling errors, but the plot was interesting and the characters were great. First of all, try breaking up ...
May 22, 2010 -
Re: Limitless: Chapter One (rated 12+ for fantasy and violence)
Hey GoldenQuill! This was fabulous. The short chapter you gave us was utterly captivating, and it was written with ease, something I rarely find anymore. I couldn't find anything wrong ...
Feb 18, 2010 -
Re: The Dream
Hey! First off, this was fabulous. Your descriptions of your emotions were beautiful and clear, and it was a very fun piece to read. Nit-Picks There he is, walking towards ...
Feb 13, 2010 -
Re: 101 Ways to Die #1
Haha, this is awesome! I can't wait to read the other 100 gruesome tales of death. This was really short, as everyone before me has pointed out. Flesh it out ...
Jan 24, 2010 -
Re: Love
Heyo! I agree, you do have some work to be done. It really is a good start, but it's far too short and too simple. Go into detail! Why is ...
Jan 12, 2010 -
Re: My Husband Is A Thief
Hey! :D I liked it. It was very interesting, and had mature subject matter. The thing is, though, is that your poem consists of more telling then actually showing. I'd ...
Nov 11, 2009 -
Re: is this a good start?
Hey! Well, you didn't really give us much to work with, so I can't really tell where you're going with this. It was interesting, but a tad bit too short. ...
Oct 31, 2009 -
Re: Everything
Hey Zaddie! Awesome poem. Really lovely. The rhyme flowed well and didn't seem forced, and we as readers could see the emotions going through your head. Great job! Every time ...
Oct 28, 2009 -
Re: The beautiful galaxy
Hey Lifeblood. Your poem was very interesting. I loved the imagery, and the idea was original and fun to read. However, as Kamas said, the rhyme is a bit immature. ...
Oct 18, 2009 -
Re: Storm
Hey Mo! Blu here, as promised! Your poem was really good! It created a great imagery that I could see inside my mind as I read, like a movie in ...
Oct 11, 2009
