101 Ways to Die #1

THAT WAS SO INTENSE!! Haha I loved it! I'm speechless right now--well done! If you want you can kill me (Allie) but I don't really care either way. Please keep writing!!!

*giggles* I loved that!

The only issue I had with it was when you added more you said

Lethero wrote:He felt his bones break and poke out through his skin.

That's very good. Nice and gruesome with the bones sticking out hahaha!

One more grammar mistake that is going to bother me until you fix it :

Lethero wrote:“Mom, I was in the middle of an important battle,” he said, careful not to yell too loud. “My friends were counting on me.”

topic57585.html Here is Story #2: Death by Lollipop, and here is the revised edition of Story #1: Death by Lawn Mower. I have added more, and hopefully a more gruesome demise.

101 Ways to Die
Story #1: Death By Lawn Mower
“Jon,” Jon’s mother called. “Mow the lawn.”
He didn’t answer, not wanting to set his controller down while in the middle of an important online battle on Modern Warfare 2. He and his friends were fighting a team in a capture the flag match, and they were twenty points behind, but he was slowly bringing them back from the brink.
“Jon!” his mother called again, yelling this time. “I said, mow the lawn!” She came into the room and briskly turned the game off. “Didn’t you hear me?”
“Mom, I was in the middle of an important battle,” he said, careful not to yell to loud. “My friends were counting on me.”
“I don’t care. When I tell you to mow the lawn, I expect you to mow the lawn.” She pointed out the door. “Outside. Now!”
Jon got up grudgingly, and walked out the door. The lawn mower was a normal, rusty, old John Deer, decades past its prime. Jon sometimes wondered how it still ran. The key sat in the ignition like it always did, allowing Jon to turn it without a problem. Reaching into his pocket, Jon realized he had left his MP3 player inside. Leaving the lawn mower running he quickly ran back to the house.
Just as he was opening the door, he heard an explosion. He turned around, in time to see the lawn mower blade pass right over his head; he could feel it cut his hair. It sliced right into the tree next to the walkway, going all the way through.
He sighed, knowing he had been very lucky. If that blade had come any lower, he would’ve been dead. His heart stopped as he heard a sickening crack from the tree. He looked up watched as the tree fell down on top of him. He felt his bones break and poke out through his skin. He watched as his mother ran out of the house frantically. She tried to lift the branch, but she was too late.

This is really great. I like the idea, it's interesting. I guess we are all fascinated by death as authors, are we not? Well, I just noticed a few grammar mistakes you might want to fix (in red):

Lethero wrote:“Jon,” Jon’s mother called. “Mow the lawn.”
He didn’t answer, not wanting to set his controller down while in the middle of an important online battle on Modern Warfare 2. He and his friends werefighting a team in a capture the flag match, and they were twenty points behind, but he was slowly bringing them back from the brink.
“Jon!” his mother called again, yelling this time. “I said, mow the lawn!” She came into the room and briskly turned the game off. “Didn’t you hear me?”
“Mom, I was in the middle of an important battle,” he said, careful not to yell too loud. “My friends were counting on me.”
“I don’t care. When I tell you to mow the lawn, I expect you to mow the lawn.” She pointed out the door. “Outside. Now!”
Jon got up grudgingly, and walked out the door. The lawn mower was a normal, rusty, old John Deer, decades past its prime. Jon sometimes wondered how it still ran. The key sat in the ignition like it always did, allowing Jon to turn it without a problem. Reaching into his pocket, Jon realized he hadleft his MP3 player inside. Leaving the lawn mower running he quickly ran back to the house.
When he was halfway to his house, he heard an explosion. He turned around just in time to see the lawn mower blade fly right at him. The world seemed to slow down as the blade passed right over his head; he could feel it cut his hair. It sliced right into the tree next to the walkway, going all the way through.
He sighed, knowing he had been very lucky. If that blade had come any lower, he would’ve been dead. His heart stopped as he heard a sickening crack. He looked up watched as the tree fell down on top of him, crushing him to death.

*Giggles* You are so totally awesome, Ashy.

Dreamer, I can draw the lawn mower. ^^

XD.

Epic.

Loved the twist. Here I was expecting this gruesome goring by lawn mower (think "The Happening") only for him to get smooshed. That's awesome, that is. So ridiculous and unlikely/unrealistic that it's good enough to get away with it.

Also, apparently I've been volunteered to start drawing doodles and comics for these. How am I supposed to draw a lawn mower? 0.o

Haha, this is awesome! I can't wait to read the other 100 gruesome tales of death.

This was really short, as everyone before me has pointed out. Flesh it out a little more! What did the tree look like? Was it very tall?

On the subject of trees, I had one question. If the blade sliced right through the tree, why was there a "sickening crack?" Wouldn't it just fall on him?

Well, have fun with this! I already know you will.

~blu

PS Do notify me when you post the next part of your project..

I never thought I'd say this but... I wish... to die.

I guess I'll review this, first.

I loved it! There's nothing really wrong with it other than the fact that, as stated by previous commenters, you rush through the death. I need some detail! What did the tree look like? Did Jon say, "Oh, CRAP!" when it fell on him? Did it suffocate him? Give me some reasons other than the tree falling on him that he died.

Okay. Well, I really do want to be included on the dying part. My name is Bonnie, so torture me in whatever way. I would like it to do with basketball, though, since that is a big part of my life. Have fun!

Love,
Fixed


(the ninja)

Oh my gosh. I totally want to die (you know what I mean). My name is Tori and I would love to have a knife thrown at my back in some public place. Ahhh. Now that would be an awesome story. Or I could be a preschooler whose angry classmate stabs w/ scissors....

Oh dear, this is awesome. I was like 'ouch, he gonna die from the blade'. And the BUMM, then tree crashed. It was nice that you didn't take the normal way this would go (that being Jon cut with the blade). This is a very comical piece.

And as Kamas, the death is a bit rushed. You can make it torturing gross. Like you could hear his bones crack under the weight of the tree, or as she screamed or whatever.

*clicks 'like button* Awesome, Ash =D
- Kat

XD! Yes! You used the lawn mower! Amazing!

My day has officially been made. Just going to do one quick nitpick because laughing shouldn't count as a review.

The part where he dies is really rushed, we don't have much time to imagine what happens. Maybe slowing down just a bit (because I know you have 101 of these to do) and a little bit more detail would be beneficial.

Just awesome.

Kamas

Haha! I enjoy this idea. It is fun and creative. I would love to be a character that dies in your story! I want to get eaten by the mysterious neighbor who turns out to be a cannibal. That would be crazy. Hannibal the Cannibal scares the hell out of me!! My name is Amanda.
Let me know what you post your next part!

OH TOTES I WOULD LOVE TO DIE IN YOUR STORY!!

I would like to die by choking on a cherry-flavored lollipop.

Or have my riding lawnmower flip over on me.

Here's a list of good ways to die, and how to work them into your story.

http://hubpages.com/hub/11-Bizarre-Ways-To-Die

Notify me when you post the next part!!

*Tay*