Hey!
I liked it. It was very interesting, and had mature subject matter.
The thing is, though, is that your poem consists of more telling then actually showing. I'd try to do quite the opposite. Aussie also mentioned how your poem didn't provoke more reactions, and that resulted from telling instead of showing. We know Dave is an abusive husband, that he would murder and lie to get what he wants. But we haven't seen him actually do it. If we had, we might have been a lot angrier at Dave, and a ton more sympathetic towards his wife.
Secondly, your rhyming scheme was a bit strange. I know you did AABBCC etc., but you had one extra line which didn't fit in. This line was your first. Since you have an odd number of lines, I'd suggest adding a line so your poem doesn't sound a weird in the first read-through.
Lastly, you spelled thief. That's easy to correct.
Overall, your poem was really good! It needs some polishing, but otherwise I thought it was a very well thought out poem.
Keep writing!
~blu
Points: 3121
Reviews: 108
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