artybirdy

The last chapter ended with Emma getting into a fight. I saw no connection between that scene and the first paragraph of this chapter. It doesn’t flow and feels bumpy. ...

This is a beautiful and honest poem, and it clearly shows that the speaker has strong feelings towards the person being addressed in there. You mentioned the traits that attract ...

Your poem is short, but it compelled me to think deeply about it. You set a dark tone and I can – to an extent – relate to the feelings ...

In order to build up a sense of urgency and panic, more details/descriptions are required. Give us Max’s thoughts/feelings/emotions. I can’t feel the danger your characters are facing. To tackle ...

I liked how you built up to the climax. Throughout the story, you dropped hints for us, showing that something’s off. In the first paragraph, there’s a sense of disbelief ...

I feel that you have info-dumped in the introduction. It sounds tell-y. I’d suggest using it as your novel synopsis. I’m a huge fan of werewolf stories. They are my ...

Oh, my God! He’s getting married and he doesn’t even know ? I have a feeling his mother put him up for it. No wonder Sati appeared hurt and mad. ...

Your poem highlights a childhood fantasy, but it has a mature feeling to it. As we grow old, we think realistically or logically, and choosing to be a sidekick reflects ...

It’s the first time Dye’s reluctant to kill a person and didn’t attack them at first sight. I think that because she’s a part of Talia, she also has strong ...

This poem felt personal to me. You accurately portrayed the thoughts of a hearing-impaired person. It outlines people’s opinion about the disability and that evokes sympathy for the speaker. To ...

I applaud your originality! I have never read such an interesting story before. It's such a cool concept about meeting ownself. This short story's perfect in every way and I ...

The prologue was a strong start to the story, but I felt that it was too short. For example: It smelled like me but this wasn’t mine but only one ...

I like the father-daughter relationship you have developed in this chapter. It shows their closeness, and how they depend and support each other through good and bad times. The plot’s ...

This chapter’s much better than the previous one. I could see your efforts to show us the story. For example, you introduced her younger sister Jane. However, I still felt ...

Loved your idea! I have mostly seen/read romantic werewolf fiction, so that was a refresher. I enjoyed reading it. I loved that you started right in the middle of action; ...