artybirdy

I like that this poem has a realistic touch. It's an inspiration for people like me, who lose motivation after losing. I could relate to the lines, "you lose confidence, ...

First of all, the feelings expressed in this short story are intense. From reminiscing about her childhood days to the present – it’s quite a transition. To me, it accurately ...

Though the general idea’s nice and I liked how you portrayed his feelings, I was still not satisfied as your reader. First of all, this is too short to be ...

This poem is quite sad and emotional! The child appears to be unfortunate and seeking some kind of help. But, upon being ignored, he/she cries, and feels alone and scared ...

I'm a huge fan of murder mysteries, so I really enjoyed reading this script. However, I like to point out a couple of areas you can improve in. 1. I ...

There's a lot of potential in this story! However, there are a couple of things you need to improve on. 1. Break it apart. You cramped all your paragraphs together, ...

I loved your description of the mystery man. You took your time to introduce his character and that interested me. However, the first thing I noticed were the chunky paragraphs. ...

This is a beautiful poem! These verses/stanzas are cleverly linked. The first one describes the start of human life. The rose symbolises the blooming of our character/personality. The hummingbird repr

You repeated “key(s)” a lot in the first three paragraphs and that becomes annoying. I’d suggest you should consider @KimberleeP’s edit. This is the eighteenth chapter, so I’m aware I ...

This is so sweet! You have given such an “honourable” tribute to your cat. I’m not sure if it was meant to be humorous, but I was laughing throughout. This ...

In the beginning, I was confused as to how Kristina can be at the camp. You might want to make it clear that he’s imagining her to be there. You ...

I noticed the chunks of paragraphs as soon as I clicked on your story. I’d suggest you to break them down, so you’re not intimidating your readers. Do proof read ...

There’s one major aspect you need to improve on. You should *show* us the story, not *tell* it to us. For example, you mentioned: “The man grew visibly angry . ...

The text is in bold and, thus, distracting. I’d suggest you to change it, though it’s only a personal preference. If it’s in bold for a specific reason, by all ...

Gah! This is such a lovely poem, cute and romantic. I don’t know much about poetry, but I can definitely feel the speaker’s love for their significant other. But, I ...