Where the child cries

This poem is quite sad and emotional! The child appears to be unfortunate and seeking some kind of help. But, upon being ignored, he/she cries, and feels alone and scared in a harsh world. He/she learns a lesson about not relying on anyone. This poem portrays how an innocent child's childhood is snatched from them. It's so hurtful that even the sky cries.

Gosh, my interpretation of this poem sounds dramatic. Nevertheless, it's a beautiful one! Perfect rhyming scheme, by the way. It seems effortless!

Well done, and keep writing!

Hello there Kat here to review for Team WHY?

Agh grey , I'm team gray but okay... I love the metaphor here with the child and the rain that was really a beautiful way about going about this. However, I don'y quite understand what was happening in the end, what lesson? Maybe I missed something. The only real issue here is that, only slightly, in places your flow was interrupted.

I loved the vivacious imagery you give us here and how it ties in to the whole scheme with the child's eyes being the creation of the tears which in turn are the rain . Just explain a bit more what this lesson is and why the child is alone?

Wouldn't the raindrop actually make a sound just no one would hear it haha . I understand what you meant.

Sorry I can't type more my cat is sitting on me!
~Kat

Hello fallenbird, this is TheMastermind to submit a nice review that you will enjoy. It contains a lot of detailed thought. These are feelings that everybody gets at some time. I hope you will overcome this feelings if they are real. You seem like a very compassionate person who is sensitive. Enough about you. The poem is fantastic. I like the way you manifest emotion in the lines and make the reader want to burst into tears, like I almost did.

My favourite lines are
Yet still the child is crying out

For help, for compassion, for warmth.
You could try out a new rhyming scheme if you wanted to. I truly enjoyed this very sentimental poem.

This poem was extremely touching and made me feel like I was watching a movie. However, I discovered an error that tended to ruin the flow of the poem. I feel as if the word "But" should not be beginning of any of the lines in each stanza.

Going with the positives first, this poem was really great! I liked how you presented everything, set the mood perfectly. And with the interpretation that children crying are much like raindrops, silent and seldom heard or acknowledged. That everyone will cry out waiting for something, anything to make them feel better. It was really nice how all of that tied in.

A slight nitpick here so feel free to ignore this, the punctuation was a bit weird with this one. Some places that there needed to be commas and not periods, but it might be a personal thing so I won't go much into specifics.

There isn't much else I can say on this poem to make you improve, maybe a little longer to convey more of a sad emotion, but other than that I think you did a fantastic job my dear! Keep up the good work ^^

This is really good. My interpretation is that the people around this child see emotions as something to be fearful of, like a coming storm. So now this child has been taught that emotions are something to hide so as not to scare others.

One thing that I'll point out is that you had a good flow but then it just gets lost and I believe that happens in the last three lines. I'm not sure what it is but It kind of leaves the reader wanting a little bit more? Maybe that's just me.

I love how the poem told a story, a series of events that led to the child never wanting to show his emotions ever again. You can just imagine what future relationships may hold for him. He would have the inability to open up for fear of rejection.

I think that a lot of people have hangups about showing emotion and I'm not quite sure why. Would hiding and dodging other peoples emotional pain show a lack of compassion and empathy? Or would it show a defense mechanism that a lot of people have developed from over time?

Great poem. It lead to a whole string of thoughts and questions, something that rarely happens these days, and I believe I have archived it away for future creative purposes. So thank you for your poem.