I didn't know what caused it. It showed up so suddenly, sending my heart into whirlwind of emotion. An almost happy feeling but with a pang sadness to it. A bittersweet emotion followed less than a second later by memories. Memories of baking cookies with my parents, of playing on a swing set in the backyard of my childhood home in the country, of staying up late to watch movies with my family.
I didn't know whether to smile or to cry. These memories were so sweet that I felt a longing. I wanted to return to that time, when life was so simple and happy. Where there was no stress, no despair, no heartbreak, no loss.... This strange emotion was not one I was familiar with. Because while it brought back happy memories, it also came with a crushing sense of loneliness and longing. A longing to return.
I wanted to return to that time and leave the sadness I lived through more often than not. A life where some days were a struggle to get through with a forced smile on my face and a faked happiness. A life where my husband left me for a younger, prettier woman, a life where my kids were all grown up and we never spoke, a life where all my family was gone for one reason or another.
But after a while, after shedding a final tear, I felt better. The longing turned into a fondness and I realized, not everything was as bad as I thought it to be. I had a good job that I loved where I was able to help people every day and make a difference I their lives for the better. I had a great group of friends, some of which were like sisters to me. I had a wonderful boyfriend who treated me so much better than my ex ever had.
So now, that emotion brought me an almost overwhelming sense of happiness. Now I couldn't stop smiling. This strange feeling was like a rollercoaster, brining me from an emotional low to a high. However, I didn't really mind anymore, because it made me remember how life was when I was a kid. Then how great life was now, despite all the hardships. And I learned to appreciate the feeling known as nostalgia.
Points:
Time spent:
Canary word: Present
Possible AI signals:
Original Text:
Are you sure you want to delete this comment? This cannot be undone.
Mark this comment as a review? Points will be awarded to the poster.
Your comment was posted, but it wasn’t long enough to count as a review. Reviews need about four complete sentences (at least 250 characters). Try writing another review that explains your thoughts in more detail — the author will appreciate it, and you’ll earn points for it.
128,174 Literary Works • 671,488 Reviews
First of all, the feelings expressed in this short story are intense. From reminiscing about her childhood days to the present – it’s quite a transition. To me, it accurately describes the feeling of learning and discovering oneself from the struggles and hardships faced in one’s life. It’s a beautiful piece!
However, I’d like to point out one thing: you have brushed over the details and, so, I felt that it had ended too quickly. Perhaps, you should dig deeper and explore the speaker’s thoughts/feelings, connect us more to her. Make the process of acceptance far more gradual, so it sounds realistic enough. Regardless, the concluding paragraph was effective and tied the piece together.
Lastly, I’d ask you to read over your story, so you can avoid the mechanical (spellings, punctuation, and grammar) errors I have seen.
Well done, and keep writing!
Thanks for the review, I really appreciate the criticism. I usually do have trouble with pacing my stories so I'll try to work on that more.
No problem! I'm glad I could help you.
This was a nice short story. It nicely describes nostalgia, and shows the feelings of someone feeling nostalgia. I like how it describes phases of the memories and feelings that nostalgia gives you. (I'm reading this review again, and I've said the same thing over and over.)
Hi Annie, Maheen here for a review...
Well, this is not exactly a critique sandwich, I would just go on expressing what I really like about your work and how amazing it is that you overcame the feeling and are strong enough to fight back with the circumstances.
I would admit that everyone feels the same at one point or another, when you recall the memories of the past, especially if they are good, you can't resist but long for them to return, the people to come back in your life, the smiles to return and bring you back on track. But, of course, that's not possible, so you end up as regarding yourself as unlucky or unfortunate, which is very wrong. Everything happens for a reason, even if it's bad, it would somehow be good or beneficial for you, which you surely would realize in the long term. For example, if the character got divorced here, she would feel herself as unlucky or unworthy of happiness, however, when sometime later, she meets another person, who's more amazing than the former, she would appreciate her life. So, wasn't it better for her to be normal -or at least not suicidal as some people tend to be in such circumstances- and thank God for His blessings? Because she would have met the other person anyway, then why not be patient and steadfast before and think of the better every time something goes wrong? Of course the sorrow remains there, but we shouldn't punish ourselves for what happened. So, I really appreciate the 'recovering' part of your story.
Glad for the person who still has such wonderful people left in her life, and I'm sure she can't say she has lost much than gained, if this is an anecdote or a true story, apart from fiction work.
So, overall I like your work. Keep writing and keep it up!
Remember, 'if there's autumn, there's spring too'.
I'm glad you liked it, and thanks for the review!