artemis15sc

Okay, so the characterization here is still really strong, however, it still felt a little flat. Characterization is important, but you want to reveal them through action that rives the ...

Wow. I was very impressed by your writing. You've blended a lot of essential elements together. It's also super creative, but not so much that I can't visualize what's going ...

Hey there. Considering my ancestor's journey across the Oregon trail and I used to love the game, I knew I had to read this. Overall, it was awesome. You've clearly ...

Okay. Let me start by saying I really liked the format. I think it worked perfect for this piece. Gave it a very dream-like feel. Overall, I think it flowed ...

Hey there. I definitely agree with Cricket. This is a really strong chapter. I really want to know what the deal with the Syrins is, but that just means I ...

Hey there. So far things are progressing nicely. I loved how you've been leaving bread crumbs about the conflict. You've mentioned guards, and getting caught, and turning someone in, and ...

Hello, let me start with what I loved. The story had such a beautiful vibe to it. I found myself getting wrapped up in the world, which was awesome. Overall ...

Wow! I think this is my favorite chapter so far! I loved the way you described the dwarf, small but you don't want to mess with them. So true. And ...

Hey there. Once again great job keeping the action up, there is never a dull moment in this piece which I love. I don't really have anything knew, just that ...

As soon as I saw this, I knew I had to read it. All of my favorite shows(those BBC shows are just too addicting.) I love this way it was ...

Hey there, let me start with the good stuff this time. This piece has really nice pacing. It keeps the action up and propels the reader into the next chapter, ...

I decided to come read this story from the beginning. I tried to read through the other comments so I didn't majorly repeat anything. Let me start with my grammar ...

Hey Katgirl! Let me jump into my few little grammar things. 1. Than it'd become their own war between themselves. Than should be then. 2. A blur of color flashed ...

Hey there. I'll start by seeing even though I didn't read the first few chapters, I didn't feel lost, which means that your characters and story make sense and are ...

I knew as soon as I saw this I knew I was going to cry. Abortion is such a hard topic for me, because the very idea of it, just...it's ...