There’s your generation and my generation.
But we often forget the lost generation.
*****
The lost generation is an invisible gap,
A gap of millions of souls,
Tiny souls, most all forgotten,
Forgotten boys, forgotten girls.
_
You
cannot see this generation.
It is dead, forever gone.
The gap was ignored and simply filled.
A new generation was born.
_
Imagine with me one of these souls,
A girl like you and me.
But who never had her chance at life,
Never had a chance to be.
_
She never even had a name,
But let’s just call her Star.
As cell joined cell inside the womb
This was her little life’s start.
_
Her tiny hands and tiny feet
Would never learn to grasp or crawl.
As swift as life came, so did death.
It blew in as a biting winter gale.
_
Now she was gone, but what would have been
If Star were still alive?
We will discover who she could be
If she would have survived.
_
A happy toddler ran down the hall
With laughing crystal eyes.
She shook her head of sandy curls
And grew as time passed by.
_
Each flower, squirrel, and shell
With Star’s imagination,
Became maidens, and monsters, and gold
With her dreamy observation.
_
She learned to travel all over the world
By reading books at night.
She’d been to places near and far
In her room by lamplight
_
Chewing her pencil and staring outside,
She wished she could go and play
The teacher called her name, everyone giggled,
But her mind was miles away.
_
At lunch she sat with everyone else
But not even saying a word
I just want acceptance and true friends, she thought.
A
place for my voice to be heard.
_
In the mirror she saw nothing but flaws,
Her hair, her teeth, her height.
My
clothes are ugly; my feet are too big.
I
never look just right.
_
In a journal she wrote all of these thoughts;
Writing became her escape.
Poetry, songs, stories and more
Were straight from her heart to the page.
_
She dreamed and a read and wrote each day,
Longing for love from anywhere…
But at least she had life, so full and free
Sleeping at night at breathing the air.
_
But no. She didn’t live this life at all.
She was killed so young instead.
A lost life, a lost girl, a lost star,
Always been gone, always been dead.
*****
There’s your generation and my generation—
May we never forget the lost generation.
Points:
Time spent:
Canary word: Present
Possible AI signals:
Original Text:
Are you sure you want to delete this comment? This cannot be undone.
Mark this comment as a review? Points will be awarded to the poster.
Your comment was posted, but it wasn’t long enough to count as a review. Reviews need about four complete sentences (at least 250 characters). Try writing another review that explains your thoughts in more detail — the author will appreciate it, and you’ll earn points for it.
125,018 Literary Works • 672,857 Reviews
I knew as soon as I saw this I knew I was going to cry. Abortion is such a hard topic for me, because the very idea of it, just...it's just so sad.
I wonder how old she is at this point, as in my brain she's still a little girl, and this doesn't seam like something a little girl would say. It's a beautiful sentiment, I just think if you wrote this desire a little indirectly, it might end up being stronger. Does that make sense? if not, let me know, and I'll try to clarify.And yes, I did cry a little, but I smiled too, which is exactly what you want. I loved how you explored her life. How you should us her ups, and her downs. You made a her a real life person, not just some fluffy little rainbow princess, and that made it so much more powerful. She felt real. I could see her. The imagery you used made her come to life for me. I felt for her. I cared about her.
I loved the use of Star too. It definitely gave me a religious connotation for me, since stars come from heaven. Their celestial, just like our Heavenly Father. But I like how this was subtle. People who were religious could feel that, but you didn't beat people over the head with it. Again, that made it more powerful. And the idea of star invites the idea of potential, and potential life, which gives you poem a whole new level of meaning.
There were a couple of things I did notice, however.
I think the second at should be and.
I would urge you to find other mediums to share this in. So many women who feel this way are silenced, but we need to speak up.
I'll admit, the other day when I was thinking about abortion, I got really, really angry. I like how you didn't approach this with anger, you approached it with love, that's definitely what God would want.
Thank you.
-Art
Omw thank you this was soo helpful!!! I love your reviews, just saying. Like I read some of them on review day and you're so good at it.
Thank you, thank you, thank you! I wanted so much to bring her to life that was my main goal of the poem. To make those children seem human, not just unborn babies or however anyone would view them..
Yep totally did the Star thing on purpose. Not. But yeah you bring out a good point but it was an accident haha... So what religion do you believe?
Yep that at was a typo. I hate those...
Thanks again for the review you're my favorite.
I'm LDS actually, or Mormon as we're sometimes called.
Hello!
Great Job on this! I actually couldn't find anything wrong with this!! Great message! A lost star.... I like it!! Keep writing!
-SnazzyPencil
Thanks!! Cute avatar!!
Yours too!
Hello PassionateReader!
I really like this piece, you tell the reader exactly who this girl would have been. But she had never had the chance to be that person, she had died to early. And in the process, you kind of described my life, I am a lot like this "star" girl. I go into writing, don't tell, but I only have one "real" friend, maybe two. Writing, reading, and more computer oriented stuff.
~Kelpies.
That was beautiful! I loved it so much! My favorite line was the eighth stanza: "A happy toddler ran down the hall with laughing crystal eyes. She shook her head of sandy curls and grew as time passed by." That stanza really aroused emotions in me. It made me feel sad for her, yet I was warm with her happiness. There was a little spelling error toward the end: "She dreamed and a read." "A" probably shouldn't be there. Great job on this poem, PassionateReader!!!!
Thank you!! Yeah I love that part too! And yep typo. Ugh. Haha
XD
"A happy toddler ran down the hall
This is by far my favorite stanza. I can picture her bouncing like a little kid on stubby legs with sandy brown hair that bounces along as she runs down a hallway, perhaps to her mother--a mother she would have gotten to know, if she had not taken Star's life. It balances the story out a little, which creates the haunting feeling. Now I have one nitpick. Only one because there was not much to review! It's wonderful! When you start out, I really enjoyed the loose rhyme. It was nice to see someone who hadn't gotten locked into a strict rhyming scheme, but by the time you reach the end, every stanza has an ABCB pattern, and it feels a little forced. Take it or leave it, but I think the piece may be more cohesive if the whole thing had slant rhymes or the whole thing had full rhyme.
please continue to write out your beliefs and morals. You seem so strong in them and it shows in your work.
With laughing crystal eyes.
She shook her head of sandy curls
And grew as time passed by."
I'm new here and I was blessed to read this as my first poem I decided to review
I loved it
*thegreyreality
Thanks!!! Yeah I agree with the rhyme thing. I was having problems with the loose/full rhyme patterns and got tired of dealing with it lol. But yeah you're right XD
wow.
so hauntingly beautiful.
i also love love love the subject. there is all this sorrow and sadness and outrage when someone is killed (and then even more outrage for gun control) but millions upon millions of innocent lives are taken every year by abortion. so sad.
i see that Star is a bit of each of us;
traveling to new worlds by reading and writing. that creates a strong connection with the reader. i also enjoy your writing style in general.
great work, keep it up
Thankyou. This really helps me know that I got the point across!! XD
Hey, RagingLive here!
I loved how you tied in the sadness of what could have been with the startling truth of how overlooked those lost lives are.
"But no. She didn’t live this life at all. / She was killed so young instead. / A lost life, a lost girl, a lost star, / Always been gone, always been dead."
To me that was the most moving part that made me want to cry. Except, that she was alive at some point in time, and that is why they killed her. For living.
Your writing is a God given talent. Keep that in mind and keep writing for Him!
Haha thank you. It's not really my talent, but yes He gets the glory/credit!! Aww did you want to cry?? Sorry XD