ajruby12

Hey! ajruby12 here to review! This was a really interesting piece! You did an amazing job, in my opinion, of putting the reader into your thoughts. However, I'm a little ...

Hey! ajruby12 here! 1st off.. PUNCTUATION! It'll save you a lot of trouble with people who have trouble following the rhythm. Also, the lines are hard to follow. Is it ...

Hey! ajruby12 here for a review! Ok, I have several main comments.. 1. Punctuation/Grammar There were several areas in which punctuation seemed to be missing and/or didn't flow well. That ...

Hey! ajruby12 here! Ok, I'm going to jump right into it. "The chilly winds is blowing occasionally." Grammatical error, I assume? "The sky is all cleared up now." This line ...

Hey! ajruby12 here! Ok, I love the idea on this! I think you did a very nice job. But the negative bit first. The first 4 lines could, in my ...

Hey! ajruby12 here to review! Oh.. This could be so amazing as a rhyming poem! Seriously! I think I might try it.. Anyway, the negative bit.. I think this could ...

Hey! ajruby12 here to review! I really liked this poem! It had a very light, easy mannaer about it and it was a nice break from the rather droll and ...

Hey! ajruby12 here to review. Well... I was a little hesitant when I noticed the free verse ring to this poem, but wow! I really like this! A few thoughts ...

Nice job on this! Again, a couple "style commas" that were absent that broke up the flow a bit.. But a very nice job all in all. But you just ...

Hey! ajruby12 here. Well.. I was going to comment on the structure at the beginning, then realized it was on purpose. Anyway, I couldn't find any grammar mistakes, which is ...

Hey! ajruby12 here.. The only thing I noticed was "Sagging tents mean knights poking up" (I echo Knight Dragon's comment on that) But I really enjoy seeing the history behind ...

Hey! ajruby12 here for a quick review! Ok, I'm usually one who doesn't like repetition in stories or poetry. I liked the idea but it was just.. Boring, in my ...

Hey! ajruby12 here for a quick review.. Alright, first thing I noticed is that the rhythm goes way off in several places. And I realize that you don't have to ...

Hey! ajruby12 here for a review. (Yay, so exciting!!!) First off, typos I saw.. “Here’s some food boy.” "Forget the food get moving" "I realized they were barracks’ " "The ...

Interesting.. I think the idea you had was good, but for me, haikus are far too short to show really any kind of emotion or drawing the reader into your ...