abdullah786

The title seems a bit corny. Plus, you first describe the words as "far from comprehensible" - how did you make them comprehensible? If you had maybe explained how you ...

Hey there! First of all I'll admit that this work touched my heart. Lol the whole account is so raw with emotions, you can't go through even a single line ...

It's a beautiful chapter, with loads of descriptions and emotions. Also, the rainy weather is also very relevant, and I kinda LIKE reading it when it's raining outside. However, the ...

It's a really good piece of work, I'd say. The perfect teen erotic fantasies. It's the sort of thing which a boy like me reads, and keeps reading on. But ...

Your story has many occasional bumps. Sometimes, a part becomes so interesting that you can't stop reading, while at times it becomes pretty boring. You have to keep the interest ...

Good description, impressive dialogue management, interesting story and down to earth plot. However, the story is too fast, it's as if you've put the mode of the procession of the ...

If this is what you have to submit... no comments.

I don't get it, there's no really theme of your story and you have admitted it... I have deduced - and this is only my opinion - that you're in ...

Look, the description's good but you need to really consider the paragraphing thing it makes your story unartistic - if you know what I mean. It really drowns the story. ...