A/N: Hello! By they way you guys I'm finally entering high school! Wooo! Anyways, this poem is actually one of my summer projects. I have to create something that will show who I am and what I believe. So I wrote a poem about writing :P PS: I'm sort of new to poetry so feel free to tear this thing apart! XD Thanks in advance!
My mind pours out words overfilling the brim of my consciousness.
They cascade down my head choking my throat.
Yearning to be free; to be listened to.
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As I try to release them they come out like a leaky faucet.
As a simple sound, a small stutter;
Something far from comprehensible.
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These words backtrack away from my neck;
Turning into complete chaos.
Searching for an escape; a release.
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Traveling through my veins;
As if replacing the blood that once ran through them.
Into my heart as it pumps more words adding to the havoc.
Running down my arms where they take control of my fingers.
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My hand effortlessly glides across the paper
As my thoughts fill the page.
The words come barreling down,
Like a stampede of a part of my soul.
The words fall like little raindrops.
-
Finally free. Finally heard.
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Hey there The Unknown Writer! The Silent Bagpipe here to do a review of your work!
Ok so first off let me just say that this poem was really quite amazing. I loved how you explained writing, and I loved your tittle for it *thumbs up* Great Job! In all truthfulness this is exactly what writing, for me, is all about! The words I can't say I write down <3 Very cool how you wrote this, I am a fan.
Writing is more or less saying things we could never say. That's why most songs and poems are emotional. Great job with the describing and creativeness!
My favorite lines were these -
"My mind pours out words overfilling the brim of my consciousness.
They cascade down my head choking my throat.
Yearning to be free; to be listened to."
Loved it <3
~The Silent Bagpipe
Thank you so much! I'm glad you liked it
Hi,
by the way, I love your avatar!
Nevertheless, this is an overall, a good poem.
Nitpicking...
You left a punctuation (a comma) after 'head' and after 'words'. Please repair these small mistakes as it is a truly damaging the sentences. It will cause the readers to confuse.
Plus, this line..
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Are you having trouble in separating the stanzas? Well, I see you're using this signs (-) to separate them.
Search into the forum about this, or you can press enter WITH shift buttons to separate them. Like this:
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Next, regarding the usage of semicolons (;). Some semicolons in this poem aren't suitable and should be replace by a dot (.) or a comma (,). I don't know much about this semicolons thing but I know there are something wrong...
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AMAZING!
All of your metaphors and similes; etc. are really suitable and almost-perfect. I know, I know, the previous reviewer said the same, but please, allow me to. However, you could always revise and they will be better. No works are truly perfect.
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You don't need the word 'adding' because it is...weird.
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Nevertheless again, I hope you will write more regarding poem as this is your one of your earliest works, yes? So, I would really love to read more from you. Good luck with your summer-projects and have a happy summertime...? Plus, good luck with your high school too!
~Nicol
P/s: You're really a unknown..........writer........XD
Thank you so much! I'm happy you enjoyed it!
This was super helpful and I'll make some revisions. Thanks again! 
I liked your title, I think I know what you are saying in this poem, please correct me if I am wrong.
You can not use words to say what your mind wants to. But when given a pen and paper that is opposite.
I am the same way, though I have been overcoming this problem.
It was a bit confusing, because of how it was pieced together.
But I really liked it, you did a wonderful job for your first time! Keep it up!
Yes, you're correct. I've actually been trying to overcome it myself but I'm still working on it- talking isn't one of my fortes
I'm glad that you liked it though! I'll try to fix the stanzas to make it flow better. Thank you again! 
The title seems a bit corny. Plus, you first describe the words as "far from comprehensible" - how did you make them comprehensible? If you had maybe explained how you translated them into understandable vocabulary in the last stanza, it would've shown how self aware you are of your work. But then, since there's a lot going on in this poem, this small detail might not matter much.
I would've also liked the complete chaos of words part to be when the blood carrying the words reaches the heart. Because that's when the pressure is the highest and so is the energy.
Other than that, everything is either good or very good - the flow is good, the use of metaphors is good. A very nice piece over all! Keep it up!
Thanks for the feedback! I'm glad you liked it. I'll take your advice into consideration.
For a first poem, this is a good effort. Your usage of figurative language is really good, as all the metaphors and similes give a good impression. The only error is that......you didn't place the expressions on the right positions. I'm not sure how to explain it. There just seems to be something wrong with the way you compiled the poem, like some expresssions ought to have been somewhere else.
Also, I don't think 'overfilling' is a word. I'll check it out.......
Keep it up!
Mysticalxx
Thanks for the review! I appreciate the feedback