Young Writers Society

Hey there The Unknown Writer! The Silent Bagpipe here to do a review of your work!

Ok so first off let me just say that this poem was really quite amazing. I loved how you explained writing, and I loved your tittle for it *thumbs up* Great Job! In all truthfulness this is exactly what writing, for me, is all about! The words I can't say I write down <3 Very cool how you wrote this, I am a fan.

Writing is more or less saying things we could never say. That's why most songs and poems are emotional. Great job with the describing and creativeness!

My favorite lines were these -
"My mind pours out words overfilling the brim of my consciousness.

They cascade down my head choking my throat.

Yearning to be free; to be listened to."

Loved it <3

~The Silent Bagpipe

Hi,
by the way, I love your avatar!

Nevertheless, this is an overall, a good poem.

Nitpicking...

My mind pours out words overfilling the brim of my consciousness.

They cascade down my head choking my throat.

Yearning to be free; to be listened to.

As I try to release them , they come out like a leaky faucet.

My mind pours out words overfilling the brim of my consciousness.

They cascade down my head choking my throat.

Yearning to be free; to be listened to.

[press the enter+shift here...]As I try to release them they come out like a leaky faucet.

As a simple sound, a small stutter;

Something far from comprehensible.

Into my heart as it pumps more words adding to the havoc.

I liked your title, I think I know what you are saying in this poem, please correct me if I am wrong.
You can not use words to say what your mind wants to. But when given a pen and paper that is opposite.
I am the same way, though I have been overcoming this problem.
It was a bit confusing, because of how it was pieced together.
But I really liked it, you did a wonderful job for your first time! Keep it up!

The title seems a bit corny. Plus, you first describe the words as "far from comprehensible" - how did you make them comprehensible? If you had maybe explained how you translated them into understandable vocabulary in the last stanza, it would've shown how self aware you are of your work. But then, since there's a lot going on in this poem, this small detail might not matter much.

I would've also liked the complete chaos of words part to be when the blood carrying the words reaches the heart. Because that's when the pressure is the highest and so is the energy.

Other than that, everything is either good or very good - the flow is good, the use of metaphors is good. A very nice piece over all! Keep it up!

For a first poem, this is a good effort. Your usage of figurative language is really good, as all the metaphors and similes give a good impression. The only error is that......you didn't place the expressions on the right positions. I'm not sure how to explain it. There just seems to be something wrong with the way you compiled the poem, like some expresssions ought to have been somewhere else.
Also, I don't think 'overfilling' is a word. I'll check it out.......

Keep it up!

Mysticalxx