VeniVidiVici

This is one hell of a beautiful story. Rarely do I stumble across a story that grips me into it as much as this one. There weren't many things I ...

The beginning of this piece is bland. There was not a lot of imagery or sensory descriptors. It's a lot of telling mostly, the only reason I think this poem ...

The intro was well done, except for the repetition. Variety is the spice in the writing. I don't usually bother with grammatical errors or spelling but the extra exclamation marks ...

The beginning of this story is great! I loved the imagery, loved the mystery, and the suspense. Great way to begin a piece. The description of the characters appearance is ...

The title was interesting, but rewording is in order. Well done on the revision to your work. It still needs work on catching the readers interest. It is missing a ...

This story should be labeled under humor as well. I don't know if it was meant to be but it brought a smile to my face. In these two short ...

So simple, yet so powerful. I felt the appreciation for life I feel every time I see the moon and stars. It's that wonderment, and love for just being alive ...

This story had me in the beginning. I always enjoy a nice prison shanking, or riot. I expected the story to end with some action, especially with the characters gambling ...

I agree with the first commentator, it was very chaotic. That doesn't mean there weren't any good points in your story. First the cons: The story was very chaotic, it ...

I loved this story! The repetition moved the story forward nicely. It allowed me to anticipate what was coming while at the same time guessing. I'm unsure why you didn't ...

The title is a bit misleading. I was expecting some explosions, maybe some fights. Although this story wasn't awful or terrible, it was boring. There really was nothing to pull ...

Very descriptive! The beginning, although lacking of action, hooked me in. It was a unique approach to the introduction and I suggest you stick with it. I loved the way ...

This was very eery to read in the darkness. I envisioned the embodiment of Death in my head as the poem smoothly transitioned from stanza to stanza. My favorite lines ...

I liked this poem. It feels like you're talking about the Messiah but it could be anyone I guess. The structure of the poem is really rigid, and if that's ...