Trident

Ok, so what I see here is a sort of beat poem. It sounds very lyrical, song-like. You do a good job in that sense. -However, what those beat poems ...

Hi there, most of the grammar/syntax stuff was already addressed so I will mostly comment on the content and the like: - Okay here we have what I would describe ...

Hello, a few things here: - Obviously the first thing that needs to be addressed is the rhyming scheme. I mean, it works in the sense that the poem doesn't ...

Hello, I'll just give you a few of my thoughts here: -Dreamlike states are always interesting, but in writing you have to really ratchet up the prose to hold the ...

Hello, I'll just give you a few thoughts here: - The beginning, while it has it's redeeming qualities, needs to progress faster. If you can't catch your reader with the ...

Hello, -You are tackling a tall order here: a poem a about nature. You take the tack of giving the mountain and such human qualities, which in and of itself, ...

Well, unfortunately I had a huge long post for this and when I went to post it, the site went down. So sorry, but you'll have to get the abbreviated ...

Hello, -I liked the letter format of the beginning, though I'm unsure about the strikeout. I think that device should really be used sparingly, perhaps for humor or to show ...

Hello, there are some really good lines in here, and the imagery is nice. Some things: -The title is lovely, and like the world of Wonderland, the whole mushroom thing ...

Hello. An interesting little poem and I can definitely see the Collins influence. -"I once heard a poet say that the pen is a living creature" --The first line is ...

Hello! It's been far too long since I've been on here. -Firstly, title is adorable and a great play on words. Almost poetic, though that might be going a bit ...

Hello Persy. A few observations: -The poem itself is short and somewhat ominous in its brevity. I think the length is too short, though, to really get the intended effect ...

Interesting tradition! Now for the crit: The water chattered and danced across the rocks. It sashayed along the banks and swirled around with joy. The trees were shrouded in a ...

Hello, I've come to give you my review. I hope it can be of some help! First off, I'm not so sure about the title. I used to love to ...

All right it's time I delivered on this. Firstly, I'm completely unfamiliar with script format, so I'll be utterly useless for any conventions in that sense. With that said, here's ...