TheRazzle

I liked it, really nice. Almost inspirational really. There were a few times the rythem changed, but nothing too major. I would also advise that you go back and add ...

Wow, I really liked it. Does this guy you wrote about happen to have a brother? ;) I'm just kidding, of course, but I thought your piece was great! The ...

Really good job, I enjoyed reading this piece. Your word choice was great, and I liked the contrast between the first and second stanzas. I particularly liked the first line. ...

Nice job, I really enjoyed the imagery. Just a couple little nit pickey things: Let me bask in sheerness, maybe , I won’t collapse. My heart beats steadily, except , ...

You did really well, I liked the story it told. This piece flows really well, but there were one or two spots where the rythem wavered a bit I think. ...

I really liked it, short, simple and to the point! Even though it was short, it had great imagery. The second stanza was my favorite. The adjectives you chose were ...

Nice piece, cool concept. I feel like this could have turned into something, almost like the prologue to a mystery novel, but it does great on its own too. Just ...

I liked it! The funky setup was cool, and worked well. I'm always afraid to do things like that, but you did really well! Fear and panic and a sort ...

I really liked this piece! It flowed almost like the lyrics to a song, and I liked the rhyme scheme. You had lines that were longer and shorter, but the ...

I liked this poem, but I noticed a lot of structural stuff you might want to look at. I feel like there should be a rhyme scheme. It feels like ...

Wow, it was wierd but.. I really liked it. I think it conveyed the message you were trying to get through, though I'm not sure what it was. The wierd ...

I agree with Shadow, good job! The rhyme scheme was simple, but that worked for this piece. I agree that you could have expanded on her death, I also had ...

Very nice, I love the mental picture that you paint. Enough detail to help the reader see what you want, but enough left in the dark so the reader can ...

Aww Blondie... I feel your pain. I really liked it, and every time you edit it, it gets better. I don't know what to say, that hasn't already ben said, ...

I like it, very sad. I agree with Demoness, the lines don't flow they way they could, and the rhyme doesn't have a pattern. Also, the first stanza is the ...