Teague

One of my mates loaned me her copy of this book... and I'm really reluctant to give it back. I love the style in which it's written. Very blunt and ...

Well, JC kinda beat me to it. But she did miss a few things. ;) inally, Grace placed her fingers on the keyboard and started typing. I think you mean ...

Hello there! Don't think I've seen you around YWS before. :D Alright, onto the critique. Let me start off by saying that this doesn't really work as a prologue. It ...

:shock: What are you hiding, Clau? I know nothing of poetry, just saw this on the front page. So yeah. -St. Razorblade :elephant:

Well, first of all, I found this a bit confusing to begin with. I didn't manage to read through all of it because you posted A LOT. I'll finish it ...

Hmm... this reads a lot like a story summary rather than an actual story to me. It's basically a list of what Josh's life has been. A bit of fattening ...

Hello there, welcome to YWS! :D I have to say I am quite amazed at how good this is. Your dialogue flows very well, your characters are quite appealing, your ...

Hmm... this reads kind of flat. In the bluntest terms. It's kind of lifeless. The couch wrapped her in a comfy embrace. It snuggled against her bare shoulders. With her ...

She stood there, staring at them. They were on there knees, bowing to her, as they should be. Then the rain came down. A silk umbrella was put above her ...

I liked this second bit here, it flows very well. The dialogue is a bit on the flat side, but it is also true that they're just shooting the breeze ...

I'm sorry to be so very harsh, but sometimes a few harsh words are good for the soul. There are so many grammar and spelling mistakes in this that I ...

Hmm... personally, I feel this is kind of a cold read. The motions and actions seem rather forced as opposed to fluent and natural. Jackie shrugged. “I’m really excited. One ...

Chapter 1- Alex and Paris Alexandria Texan stood in front of the mirror and brushed her thick, jet- black hair. The 13 year-old wasn’t known to be, pretty or popular, ...

Well, this is quite good, as school assignments go. I know quality gets kind of damaged when school's factored in. =/ You have a few grammatical errors which a quick ...

This is like... the story of my life. Seriously. O.O I really enjoyed this, and I'm hard pressed to find any mistakes... You show good control of your characters, and ...