Summer Carding In: I agreed to go to the eat-slow shack...
After months and months of avoiding him, I finally plucked up the courage to meet up with “Jamie Thompson—Footie God”. He had been asking me out for ages and I felt it might be better if I just said “No…um sorry can’t.”
But now I was actually saying yes to him and we were really going to go out. Jamie suggested we go somewhere we go some where quiet and not so crowded, so I agreed to go to the eat-slow shack (Which is surprisingly a very posh looking resty (Restaurant).
Me and Jamie seemed to be really enjoying our selves, (Well I know…I was). Until of course I had to take a joke little to far and spoil the evening.
Jamie thought it would be a real laugh if we ordered stuff off the menu and then when the waiters brought it to us. We would deny we ordered anything and sent them to off to another table.
Jamie went first (Of course)-He ordered a big bowl of spag’ bowl. When the waiters brought it over he sent them away to a table with a big family (the family ate the food of course) so no one was non-the-wiser.
That’s when I had to go and ordered: the hot fudge sundaes, another spag’ bowl, rice with chicken, two tall milkys (milkshakes-strawberry and extra salad with all the dressings. While I was telling the waiter, Jamie was egging me on- he seemed really impressed that I…a-girl would do stupid pranks.
That’s until they finally brought the food out to us, I was still in full prank mode (With Cheshire cat grin.) “I didn’t order that, must be for the family behind us.”
I said winking slightly at Jamie.
But the waiters looked at both of us and started talking us to eat or pay. I could see Jamie’s face dropping and my own face heating up. It had taken me so long just to say yes to going on a date with Jamie and now I could tell he was now regretting it.
“Pay zee bill, sir.” Said the Italian waiter screwing up his beetroot coloured nose.
I could tell Jamie’s face was turning the colour of anger as he pulled out his wallet and forked the whole £60 pounds. Jamie grabbed his and my coat storming out the restaurant leaving me behind.
To feel the burning of shame as every one in the restaurant now had they’re eyes on me as I walked out the doors to the street.
When I got outside, I saw Jamie standing by the bus-stop waiting for me. His face looked neutral; I really couldn’t tell what he was thinking. I looked at my watch, it was now seven.
“You own me £60 quid Kristy” Jamie standing by the bus stop waiting for me, as if he were being serious. “Uh…I don’t think so, the game was your idea-remember? “How could he not remember we were having a great time and it was only begging- till it got spoilt. Why did that finally leave the restaurants, its not my fault I didn’t see them leave suddenly grew smirk. “I’m kidding…Kristy. Don’t look so worried, I wasn’t worried, I just thought you were mad…with me?”
But I really was worried I through my golden boy was a turning out to be a liar and jerk. “So where did you get that roll of money from?” I asked Jamie, suddenly. As at the time I also thought it was weird that Jamie suddenly. As at the time I also thought it was weird that Jamie pulled out the (£60 pounds) tied tightly with an elastic band.
“Ahh…well you see I found a tenner down my armchair and fiver down the road.
So I grabbed some of my lil’ bro’s monopoly money and put it all together to look like I had loads of dosh, and that’s what I gave the waiter.”
Jamie started laughing and at the shock and total dis-belief on my face.
I couldn’t believe it “Jamie Thompson starrs as the CON-MAN” in my shamble of a life because that’s what they’ll be calling him in my life movie.
But for some reason, this just made me love him more and more (Apart from the fact that I can never show my face in this restaurant again).
We got on the bus and went back to the neighbourhood. Jamie told me he actually-really enjoyed himself and had a “Wicked” Time and that we should do it again. Then he kissed me on the cheek, scruffed my hair and he was off.
When I got into the house, all the lights were off so I crept up stairs to my room-only to find mum sitting on the end of my bed ( Arms crossed-eyebrows raised) “BUSTED YOUNG LADY!” Mum shouted at me. I could tell hugs and kisses weren’t to follow…
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"We go somewhere we go some where"? Kinda repetitive, dontcha think?
Jamie and I. Ourselves is one word. Get rid of the ellipse (...) and the parenthesis, and make what's in the parenthesis its own sentence. Also, the period after "us" should be a comma, and "sent" should be "send."
Nix all the parenthesis, make it into commas. Delete the hyphen, put a comma after "over." What's a spag' bowl? And I imagine you mean "none the wiser."
The first sentence would be better as "Then I ordered hot fudge sundaes, etc etc etc." Spell out milkshakes. Turn the hyphen into a semicolon and the ellipse into a comma. Get rid of the hyphen between a and girl.
Change That's to that was (that's implies "that is"). Comma should be a period, and get rid of the parenthesis completely. When someone's talking, it's a new paragraph, and when they're done, it's "Blah blah blah," Person said. Same line, same paragraph, ends with a comma if it's a normal sentence (exception: questions & exclamations)
Talking should be telling, but that's the only problem with this bit.
The pound symbol and repeating punds is kind of redundant, and there should be a comma after coat (which should be plural).
To feel the burning of shame as every one in the restaurant now had they’re eyes on me as I walked out the doors to the street.
When I got outside, I saw Jamie standing by the bus-stop waiting for me. His face looked neutral; I really couldn’t tell what he was thinking. I looked at my watch, it was now seven.
“You own me £60 quid Kristy” Jamie standing by the bus stop waiting for me, as if he were being serious. “Uh…I don’t think so, the game was your idea-remember? “How could he not remember we were having a great time and it was only begging- till it got spoilt. Why did that finally leave the restaurants, its not my fault I didn’t see them leave suddenly grew smirk. “I’m kidding…Kristy. Don’t look so worried, I wasn’t worried, I just thought you were mad…with me?”
But I really was worried I through my golden boy was a turning out to be a liar and jerk. “So where did you get that roll of money from?” I asked Jamie, suddenly. As at the time I also thought it was weird that Jamie suddenly. As at the time I also thought it was weird that Jamie pulled out the (£60 pounds) tied tightly with an elastic band.
“Ahh…well you see I found a tenner down my armchair and fiver down the road.
So I grabbed some of my lil’ bro’s monopoly money and put it all together to look like I had loads of dosh, and that’s what I gave the waiter.”
Jamie started laughing and at the shock and total dis-belief on my face.
I couldn’t believe it “Jamie Thompson starrs as the CON-MAN” in my shamble of a life because that’s what they’ll be calling him in my life movie.
But for some reason, this just made me love him more and more (Apart from the fact that I can never show my face in this restaurant again).
We got on the bus and went back to the neighbourhood. Jamie told me he actually-really enjoyed himself and had a “Wicked” Time and that we should do it again. Then he kissed me on the cheek, scruffed my hair and he was off.
When I got into the house, all the lights were off so I crept up stairs to my room-only to find mum sitting on the end of my bed ( Arms crossed-eyebrows raised) “BUSTED YOUNG LADY!” Mum shouted at me. I could tell hugs and kisses weren’t to follow…[/quote]