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TakeThatYouFiend

TakeThatYouFiend

  • Poetry » Narrative, General Re: My sister sings songs

    Good day there Reise, the Fiend here to throw in my two cents. Unlike dogsrule below me, I don't think you need to even out your stanzas as that would ...

    Sep 21, 2014
  • Poetry » General, General Re: dancers

    Greetings TriSARAHtops, it's review time! In this review I will offer lots of criticism, but please don't think I'm being harsh, I just analyse in a lot of detail. Firstly, ...

    Sep 15, 2014
  • Poetry » Romantic, Dramatic Re: My Senses are Tingling

    What you have done here is good, but I have a couple of suggestions if you will hear me out. Firstly, I think that this shouldn't entirely be in italics. ...

    Sep 14, 2014
  • Poetry » Satire, General Re: Taking Advice

    Greetings! This is a mighty fine work you have, however I have a number of nitpicks that methinks need addressing, so, if I may, I'll take this piece line by ...

    Sep 3, 2014
  • Short Story » General, General Re: Biological Warfare

    Yes! "The funeral home was completely dead." BEST. OPENING LINE. EVER! Just reading the first line, I thought you might want to mention (knowing Terrance's character) that the tiny paper ...

    Sep 1, 2014
  • Poetry » Humor, Narrative Re: Printer

    In the words of Benedict in Much Ado About Nothing, "There's a double meaning it that." I have one little nitpick in order to preserve the double meaning. that is ...

    Sep 1, 2014
  • Poetry » Realistic, Dramatic Re: Ur Cming Rit *edited*

    This is a really good piece and idea but a couple of points have really let you down. Firstly, you are very low on imagery. I have two aids for ...

    Aug 31, 2014
  • Poetry » Satire, General Re: The World Is Not A Bad Place Afterall

    Hello there new rival! Although I am always glad to see more reviewing, I MUST WIN!!! The main thing that I think is lacking here is the lack of punctuation ...

    Aug 31, 2014
  • Poetry » Humor, General Re: Poem by me, dog

    Just one question, "HOW DO YOU KNOW MY DOG???" This, poemet, really captures that doggie essence. I think it could be longer, and I shall give tips for making it ...

    Aug 31, 2014
  • Poetry » Dramatic, General Re: Don't venture into woods of night...

    This would be kinda creepy if I hadn't been reminded of "Don't go out tonight,// It's bound to take your life,// There's a bad moon on the rise." The entire ...

    Aug 31, 2014
  • Poetry » Fantasy, Dramatic Re: The Sword of Zalanzabar

    Hello again! This was very good, personally I am a big fan of fantasy, so this immediately give you one massive piece of advice (which will be most of this ...

    Aug 31, 2014
  • Poetry » Realistic, Dramatic Re: Big Fish

    Greetings nemesis. I shall review, and I must beat you. *evil glare* My first point is that "millions" isn't clear. Millions of dollers would be more precise and make easier ...

    Aug 31, 2014
  • Poetry » General, General Re: Time Traveling Pants

    Believe it or not, I have in fact listened to a radio play about time traveling trousers (way better alliteration in English,) called professor prune and the time trousers, but ...

    Aug 31, 2014
  • Poetry » Humor, Lyrical Re: The Four Wicked Witches

    Ok hello there from diene Lieblingsmoomin! So I will probably be hypercritical for these, so just remember to take only the suggestions you like the sound of, and ignore the ...

    Aug 31, 2014
  • Lyrics » General, General Re: Lighter Than My Soul

    Hallo there rival! You may win the day, but by gad I'm going for no. 1 personal point count! The first problem that is evident with this work is that ...

    Aug 31, 2014


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