There's a teacher we call the old Witch of the West,
One who's wicked to all and evil to the rest.
Do beware of her bite,
So just run and don't fight,
because she is the one who even serpents detest
*****
But let me tell you of one who is just as bad,
Perfumed with all poisons and in dragon skin clad
Tis the Witch of the North,
who mostly fire brings forth,
especially when she is ravenous or mad
*****
Another of the Witches drinks her tea with wolf's bane
She is also annoying and mentally insane
The Witch of the South,
has such a large mouth,
that she incites fear into most and leaves others in pain
*****
The final of these four then must come from the East
She is wicked and cunning, but of these four, the least
Adolf Hitler's her man,
and old Stalin's a fan,
'cause she's known to her students as a monstrous old beast
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139,219 Literary Works • 672,513 Reviews
Ok hello there from diene Lieblingsmoomin! So I will probably be hypercritical for these, so just remember to take only the suggestions you like the sound of, and ignore the rest.
First off, I have a slight qualm with the second line. When it says "Evil to the rest," does that refer to the rest of the people not already covered by "all?" or does it refer to the other Witches? Please try to clarify this point, if you can.
Also, here and in other places, you have missed the full stop off the end of the last line. This is evil and must be stopped.
Moving on to the next verse. The second line here is sadly missing in punctuation. It don't have non, and tis verily sad and is being bullied by all the other lines, so you should give it some punctuation yes. *nods*
Here is a line I dislike, "who mostly fire brings forth." This is because I think it is too long, so perhaps edit to "Belches fire fourth" instead.
And again in the last line you miss the full stop.
Here in the first line of the third piece is another bullied work. Not only that, but the commas here seem misplaced. And how does a mouth make people scared? If you want to do that you should give her cannibalistic traits.
Here the rhythm would be improved by changing final to last. Also in this verse, I dislike monstrous old beast. It doesn't seem very aggressive.
Yours in reviewing,
The Fiend.
Hello! Scarlet here to review!
Now don't take this too offense but I didn't find this funny at all.
Maybe your just misunderstanding your teacher, yes she sounds evil but believe it or not teachers work really hard. I found it a little boring but that's only my opinion so it shouldn't be taken to heart.
You did a good job despite my opinion.
Though I do think there are a few punctual issues in there. The grammar is fine though.
Out of a 1-10 I would rate it 6, it takes a lot to humor me and I take humor seriously so I don't really find this funny.
It's good, others might like it but it's not my cup of tea.
Keep trying, and Write! Practice makes perfect.
Sincerely, @ScarletDreams14; Member of Salsa Verde
Writer, Artist, Student and Reader
The way you describe your teachers makes mine look like saints! Writing lets you get your emotions out and lets you be a happier person. If you get all of your negative emotions out when you write you become a better person and will be able to get through life easier. Everybody writes for a similar reason though. They want a voice, they want to be heard. They want people to understand where they're coming from, why there saying what they are.
Those were adorable! I'd think the one that drinks wolf's bane with her tea would be the scariest, don't you? Sort of an "I ate a bowl of nails without any milk" feel to that one.
I thought of a teacher I had in the past, and teachers my friends have told me about. I haven't really had many "evil" teachers, but this just brought back the memories of a particular one with whom I shared a mutual hatred.
The only thing I could think to be bothered about is a couple commas that don't really belong where they are and the lack of periods. Other than that, it's lighthearted, cute and very good.
Love this poem! (You can never go wrong with limericks, indeed)
I enjoyed the rhythm in this poem and how there was a steady pace within each limerick. I especially appreciate your word choice and how you described the four witches.
I have only a few nitpicks and suggestions:
First off is punctuation. You add a few commas in here and there, but no periods. Perhaps add periods for a full stop, or to signify an ending to the idea or topic. Since there are four limericks you could add a period at the end of each (but that's only a suggestion, you don't need to change it if you don't want to!)
Commas were placed in the right spots, so good job.
One line I didn't quite understand:
"who mostly fire brings forth" I believe you are saying she brings forth fire, and I know you were rhyming here, but the line is just worded oddly.
You really gave each witch her own personality and I loved this!
Good job with these excellent limericks.
Keep writing!
I love it! I love it! I love it! Can't exactly go wrong with a limerick unless its random (even then...) or doesn't follow the limerick rhythm. Yours was far from being either. I love it! I love it! I love it! I love it! (Did I mention that I love it?) I love it! I love it! I love it!