Sureal

As I said in MSN, you need to clean up the spelling and grammar. We fixed that small section of the conservation, but the rest of it could do with ...

I think this piece is particualairly ironic, as I seem to be the first person to review this :P. Anyway, I like it. Negatives: - A bit on the short ...

Why is it that whenever someone posts up an interessting parody of a song, I've never even heard of the origional song? It's happens pretty much everytime... Regardless, I made ...

Ah, that wasn't so bad ;). My only problem is with the creatures... I know pretty nothing about them. So this is actually kind of hard to picture, seeing as ...

The hail storm as calmed down now, 'As' should be 'has', shouldn't it? But hey, other than that, this is good :). Although I picked up on the Ryan thing ...

This could actually work as a side piece to your actual story :). Oh, and the title is messed up - that happens with long ones, it cuts off the ...

I read through it, and I have absolutly no idea what's going on :). But hey, I was never really all that good at this sort of thing anyway, so ...

I'm not sure I like the whole raping her cunt with a knife part - not because it's violent/explicit, but because I have a certain distaste for adding sex into ...

Heh, the title really grabs your attention here :). I really enjoyed reading this - can't think of anyway to improve it. It all flowed together well, was all clear ...

Print this off and read through it. Wherever you naturally pause, add in a comma. I agree with Supermal - this does feel kind of rushed. However, go over it ...

Although this is quite good, it doesn't read like fiction. You started a new line after every statement, so you end up reading this more like poetry. Also, this confuses ...

I'm not to sure what to say about this. On one hand, it was an interessting (and, for me at least, a unique) read. But on the other hand, I ...

That's actually quite freaky (although I assume that's what you were aiming at). Not sure what to say critique-wise (I was never much good at this), because it all fits ...

lol - your poetry has better grammar than you're normal posts ;). I only saw one grammar error: 'The world is at it's lowest.' It shouldn't be "it's", but rather ...

I quite enjoyed this (the feelings and the situation), however I'm not too fond on your use of commas (espescially in the first half of the story) - they don't ...