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Yeah, Jack and Sureal are right... no apostrophe on 'its'
Anyways, on to the poem...
Firstly, I agree with Jack that this isn't exactly original. It needs more imagery and personification, but this might be a decent start.
The world is at its lowest. (Erm, this first line really didn't suck me in. It began the poem like any other ordinary 'life is terrible' poem)
With honor gone, the corrupt will feed on misery, (I personally like this line, especially the word 'feed')
With good gone, evil will spread like a plague, ('good' is a very common noun; I really suggest finding something more interesting. And I think you can find a more captivating word than 'spread', perhaps 'rage' or 'ravage' something powerful)
With love gone, hate will turn into malice. (Okay, this repeating of 'gone' wasn't too bad once, but it is kind of old at this point. Use another word like 'broken' or 'destroyed'. Those aren't exactly the best words, but my mind is blank right now. Also, I suggest changing 'into malice' to 'to malice' It sounds more interesting in my opinion)
There is no bright side, there is no silver lining, (Erm, I guess this was okay, but 'silver lining' and 'bright side' are quite cliche. I understand your denunciation of them here, but perhaps finding a different, original phrase or even better, dramatically twisting those phrases would make it more powerful.)
Yet hope slowly resurfaces, (I like your verb 'resurface' but I'm not sure of your adverb 'slowly' I think saying 'Yet hope shall resurface again' would sound better)
You will realize it never had disappeared, (Good point, but I don't like 'disappeared' here. Perhaps 'fled' would sound better. Yeah, 'you will realize it had never had fled' is more intriguing)
But the world is still corrupt, (You use the word corrupt here again; I don't think that's a good idea)
But with hope that will all end. (Firstly, you use the word 'but' again as your beginning and that kinds of takes away some of the power for me at least. I'm not sure of your last line. I mean, it's okay, but I think it could be better. If hope is always there and the world is still corrupt, I don't see hope as ending corruption. It is a light admist the corruption, but in previous stanzas, you don't make it sound like it ends corruption. Do you see what I mean?)
Anyways, this was pretty good, but you need to work on imagery, originality and some more powerful verbs. Please keep writing.
You guys are nerds....
No, you weren't. The English language is stupid. You tack on apostrophe-s for almost everything - fool's errand, Shadow Knight's grammar skills, Jack's correction.
But not for "it". No apostrophe.
I was taught otherwise, but i'll look it up...
"It's" is not possessive. "Its" is. "It's" is a contraction of "it is".
I know... but i'm certain it is 'It's' for ownership too...
Jack agrees with me on the matter too.
Yes, but Word is always wrong... My grammar is better than Word's on most instances, what does that tell you?
Not according to Word.
"It's" can also be used for ownership. Trust me on that one...
lol - your poetry has better grammar than you're normal posts
. I only saw one grammar error:
'The world is at it's lowest.'
It shouldn't be "it's", but rather should be "its" ("it's means, "it is").
The message behind this is easy to pick up - the world is screwed, but hope is still there, and where there's hope the future may yet be bright.
My fav line in this poem has got to be,
'There is no bright side, there is no silver lining,'
Grammatically, this needs some editing. First line it should be "its" not "it's". And I thought you were scottish? Write "honor" the British way! It's cooler! The two buts in the last stanza don't really make sense. Actually, the last line is redundant basically. Take it out. Put something else in.
Anyway, generally, this poem said nothing new. We all know the world sucks, and we all know we can do something about it. Great. It wasn't written particularly originally either. I liked the whole "this is gone, so this wil turn into this" but that was the only thing that kept me reading this poem. You have an idea here, but you need to find your own perspective to it rather than just looking at it the same way as everyone else has. Take personal experience. You say this refers to a break-up? Well exploit that. Personify things in the poems towards a broken relationship with metaphors and images, and then we can see a connection.
Otherwise, nobody will notice your poetry.
*Is sent to prison as some federal offense of long distance break-up*
Aye... Aye... I aggree with you there... aye...
Aye... Aye... Aye...
Aye...