Summerless

Wow, that was an easy and nice read. I like the "chips fall" part and how your wish--being able write about the feeling you were feeling. The only thing I ...

Oh, Ross, this is lovely! This style of yours sounds much like Harper Lee's, especially with the tone I can hear the narrator assume. I loved the way you started. ...

Oh, I really enjoyed reading this! You had some alliteration and the wording was interesting. I have a few questions, though. Were you trying to keep a rhyme scheme or ...

I agree with Shine and Monki. Take out the whole lot of 'o-o-o' parts in the last line of the poem. Also, like my Shadow and me... said, try to ...

This part: This can't be my destiny Wake me up. and this part: This can't be forever Please wake me up! are really weak. Try to find a better way ...

This was okay. You used "f**k" too many times, though, so it wore off the effect. Eleven times is too much. Maybe five or six times would show the anger ...

I disagree with Flame11. The "whipping up a bottle" line sounds perfectly fine. It just means that Velma briskly pulled the bottle out, right? His clothes looked like they hadn’t ...

First off, I really loved the last line. The paper and paint brush part added a nice touch. A little bit of work is needed on the poem, though. A ...

I love the imagery you put in. It was really vivid. The title doesn't seem so random now that I read the poem. One thing, though. Clots of fluorescent lights ...

There are quite a few typos and grammar errors as Vampy_Girl15 said. Midnight and all was quiet, go figure the one night I decided to volunter for my partner Jax ...

She sputters, pleading, “water.” That should be She sputters, pleading, “ W ater.” This (below), She cries, “help.” I think, would sound better if it was She cries, “ H ...

I agree with AmberAngst. Instead of "I'm so happy!" try putting some more feeling. "I'm so happy!" is one-sided. It's flat and a weak descriptive line. It was confusing at ...

You hold good suspense and have great ideas but this is lacking a bit. First of all, John just whips out a piece of rope. Where did he get that ...

I like how you put "fleur-de-lys" in the beginning. The length is perfect. I agree with timjim77. Do not lengthen this poem. Only one comment. I think you should change ...

I love how you spaced the poem out. The places you put line breaks fit perfectly! You described the feelings so well and if I never had an anxiety attack ...