StupidSoup

Okay well that's nice. I like the story, good setup. Great job bud

You make your point really clear at the end of the poem but id like to really see more organization of the words that lead up to it.

Awwwwww

It is indeed beautiful. There's to much description though. I know what you intended but its still to much.

Ehehehe......I think we all know what's wrong here. I like the story. The writing is good though the action (car chase thing) is a bit clumsy. It's just the fact ...

Nice! Good emotion. Word choice could be better.

Could be just a bit more visceral but I'm sure it's more so for you than it is for me.

Dabadabadibbiydadoo could use some flow

Last lines best lines. Good stuff m8 few questionable word choices but good poem nonetheless

Dam son where'd ya find this.

That's sweet, I like it .p.7

One of the most amazing things I have ever seen. This literally brings a tear to my eye and makes my voice crack.

:o meester Silver, you iz a poet! I love how simple this is! Honestly, you just put out a story and ya take one look at it and bam, add ...

thanks a lot!

thanks!