Stori

One question: how is this "fan fiction" if it's a whole 'nother ball game?

Hey, any takers? I know the series is adult...

Hello! I'll just crit this as I go along: Its triangular hull was pitted from many years of Imperial service. "Not anymore," Kale muttered. He touched the hilt of his ...

Oh my God. I heard it! I heard this in my mind! It was a song!

Amazing. It's so cool, the way you brought out the werewolf in the last paragraphs. 5 stars! Is there an emoticon for that?

God! *hurts ches* that's funny!

A dark parody! Funny! I love it; made my day.

Come on, it's fast paced. Funny but fast paced. Good job, but you had a major run-on in p.1.

He was struck by an inspiration. I guess. Well, yeah, it is short. The first scene in my second script.

I don't write scripts (except I just started "Unity") so I can't critique. But it was well done. Again, the flowers were a nice touch. Oh, if you can, tell ...

First the boy is on the mountain, then it's 500 years ago? What gives?

It was a bit of a "well, I'll do something different" thing. I saw all the wolf stories and said, "What about foxes?" Where it's going, I'm not sure. I'll ...

It's creepy. I like that. Again, why is this in "historical fiction?" Is there more? Yeah, you should break up the paragraphs. And please, post more.

Well, it's rushed. How does the riot start? Who is this escaped convict? Answer those questions, and give us an idea of the setting. Show, don't tell.

In the end it should be "He woke up and it got worse." This is a little rushed. Slow down. Describe Derek, and the school he goes to. Tell us ...