Lyle glanced around cautiously before letting his guard slip. In a matter of seconds, the lad was replaced by a trim gray fox. It shook its coat out to rid itself of the tingling magic of transformation.
He barked with sheer delight. Nobody took notice of foxes; they were as common as clouds.
Oh, for the open trail! His heart sped at the thought. He wanted to run, but first, he sniffed the air. There was no unfamiliar scent, just the wind and the grass and the elusive smell of rabbits.
He trotted out from behind the oak, taking in the glorious vista of sky, grass and scattered trees.
Another fox hurried past. Good day, brother, he said as he went.
Lyle sneezed as the stranger's scent hit him. There was the taint of man in that wiff.
"Man," he muttered. "Man! Destroyers of nature. Hunters who give nothing back. Man!"
He shot like a bolt across the plains, away from civilization. Away from the taint of humankind.
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Canary word: Present
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125,008 Literary Works • 672,831 Reviews
It was a bit of a "well, I'll do something different" thing. I saw all the wolf stories and said, "What about foxes?"
Where it's going, I'm not sure. I'll let you know.
And, ArtLuvr, welcome.
It's good; i'm just confused. it started so randomly. Where did it come from and where is it going?
Thanks. That kitten is so funny
This is definitely intriguing; it makes me want to know why Lyle hates mankind so much. Also, I like the way you use short paragraphs and sparse description. It keeps the story moving. Great job, and I look forward to the next part of this story!
This had good details. I especially enjoy the whole "transformation" thing, and the boy's prejudice against humankind. To me, it was very well written. But what do I know? I'm new to the YWS...
Hey!
Are you going to write anymore?
There wasn't very much there to crit but there were a couple of typo's as Seraph Tree said;
Other than that, keep going!
~SishBee~
x
Is there more to come?
I would love to read further especially since Lyle doesn't like humans but we don't know why becuse you plungd the reader into a scene that doesn't give much away. Couldn't the fox with the man scent have been a shapshifter like him too?
Things are a little confusing, mostly because there aren't enough details. Why would lyle hate man so much, when he was a man himself? Is the fox a symbol of some kind?
:D:D:D:D:D
With the other fox... why does he smell like a human? Do people change into foxes all the time?
There are a couple of typos that need fixing, and your flow needs a little work. I think it would help if you read it out loud.
It's an interesting idea you have here, but you need to fill us in a little more.
Good luck and all that ^-^V