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Re: Thing That We Called *Epic Boredom*
*One day...(capitalization, also I think only once is needed) "*Dammit (capitalization and misspelling)...it's so boring!" (no ellipses needed, also try to use only one exclamation point) *Yeah (capit
Feb 27, 2013 -
Re: Untitled Project - Episodic
Hiya~ Just a few things here: Jimmy and Bogart are sitting at the park *entrance (misspelling). [The] sun is rising. Empty bottles of Jack *roll (singular) from Bogart to Jimmy. ...
Feb 26, 2013 -
Re: SlenderMan
Okies, first off, make sure to capitalize all your "I's". And some other things: *...look on his face. "Have you seen anything strange around these parts lately son?" (period instead ...
Sep 19, 2012 -
Re: Identity thief
Good effort, but it seemed a little rushed. First, the concrete stuff: "...maybe you throw this sob story on everyone that has *too fragile a heart." (in my opinion, "too ...
Sep 8, 2012 -
Re: It's raining.
Good job! Just a few tiny mistakes: *Yes, if *your heart has been broken into uncountable, immeasurable pieces. And the rain, oh, the rain makes it all the more worse. ...
Sep 5, 2012 -
Re: Wolfe
Good effort, but here's a few tips: “Hi Lily.” (punctuations always go inside quotes, and there's no need to space between quotes and words) The short haired girl smiled. "Welcome ...
Sep 4, 2012 -
Re: Porter's Pineapple Upside-Down Cake
Great story! Just two tiny things I noticed: Porter asked, slamming the refrigerator door shut.* (period instead of a comma) There should be more to this life *than crunching numbers ...
Sep 4, 2012 -
Re: Living With A First Class Arse
Nice story, I think you can definitely expand on it if you want to. A few errors I noticed: “She's visiting Nana if *you're bothered?” (you're instead of your in ...
Sep 3, 2012 -
Re: the Extreme War of Darkomega (Chapters 1-3)
Got around to reading a little more: ...*I saw many pictures on each side of it. One portrait stood out among the rest. It was of a boy with brown ...
Sep 2, 2012 -
Re: The Legend of Terra
I can tell you have a lot of writing talent. Just a few mistakes I spotted: *That was the last time I ever saw him. (I don't think ever is ...
Sep 1, 2012 -
Re: the Extreme War of Darkomega (Chapters 1-3)
You've got some random capitalization in a few places, like in the second paragraph. A few mistakes I noticed: “*Skyrid, that’s not possible. *Warrior powers are just a myth.” "...Plus, ...
Sep 1, 2012 -
Re: Deleted
This is very nicely written! The only problem I have with it is that it's a bit wall-of-texty. I would separate them into smaller paragraphs myself, maybe like: "He told ...
Sep 1, 2012 -
Re: Deleted by author.
I suggest you separate your story with paragraphs when appropriate, people really don't like looking at a wall of text, especially when it's a story as long as this one. ...
Sep 1, 2012 -
Re: He saved me
I *dye my hair a lot. Now *it's blond (I think it's would work better than they're here) to me and *Lillie... *Now I have to go. Me and my ...
Aug 31, 2012 -
Re: Trouble in Tidytown
Oh my goodness, this is absolutely adorable; no wonder you got an A. Really imaginative and witty, there were no cheesy rhymes or anything, everything just flowed really well. I ...
Aug 31, 2012
