Prologue~
one..day..one day...and one day...
" damnit..it's so boring..!!! "
yeah...that's my life...every epic boredom starts everyday in every week in every month in every year. Yeah..nothing interesting ever happen.
I'm Blake.One of the normal high school student who suffer from *Epic Boredom* because its just..too much..BORING!!.
" i wish life..were a bit..fun and full of Youth...." *Sigh* Blake glimps his eyes and look to the sky.
" ohh..snap..I'm late For School!~ "
then..we are going to start...from zero to Hero
From Boredom To Fun
..well..lets just hope..that Youth would come to me..~
Lets start..the Story of an Boredom man turns his life when he mets something precious!~
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The Main Part i write this story is because...~ i want to improve myself and write a medium level story like *Humor* x3 well~ i'm going to read alot of funny stories to get some idea xD
i always use one Story Writing method...and that's called *Light Novel Style*
go check the wiki for the info :3
this is just the Starting of the story :3 I'll soon post the first chapter :3
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Hi there! Have a review on me.
This 'Light Novel Style' is an interesting idea that I'd like to see developed and worked with a little, but it's important that this isn't to the detriment of basic syntax. From what I gleaned from wikipedia, the Light Novel Style seems to be about making text more accessible and easier to relate to. For me, the style came across as a little jumbled and confusing and it was hard to figure out what was going on. That said, this seems to be a prologue to the rest of something, so I assume that you don't want to tell too much here while laying down the general gist of the protagonist being rather bored.
I wont bother going over spelling and grammar, as Stigma's already pointed out some of the problems there, but I just wanted to point you at one issue:
"..well..lets just hope..that Youth would come to me.."
After referring earlier to Blake in the third person, you appear to switch to first person here, showing a lack of consistency.
I hope my comments helped, please feel free to PM me if you have any questions. I'd be happy to hear more about your writing style, as wikipedia didn't go into great detail. Keep writing
*One day...(capitalization, also I think only once is needed)
"*Dammit (capitalization and misspelling)...it's so boring!" (no ellipses needed, also try to use only one exclamation point)
*Yeah (capitalization)...that's my life...every epic boredom starts **everyday in every week in every month in every year (this is really repetitive, I think something like "twenty four/seven" would flow better). Yeah...nothing interesting ever *happens (add "s").
I'm Blake. One of the normal high school student who suffer from *Epic Boredom* because its just...too much...BORING!* (again, one exclamation point and no period after)
"*I (capitalization) wish life were a bit...fun and full of Youth..." *Sigh* Blake *glimps (did you mean "blinks"?) his eyes and *looks (add "s") to the sky.
"*Ohh snap...I'm late *for *school (unneeded capitalization)!~ "
Then, we are going to start...from zero to Hero. (punctuation)
From Boredom To Fun
...Well, *let's (apostrophe) just hope that Youth would come to me...~
*Let's (apostrophe) start...the Story of *a Boredom man turns his life *[around] when he mets something precious!~
I think the amount of ellipses in this is a bit excessive. Also, I suggest omitting the tildes if you want to sound a bit more sophisticated.
Keep practicing!
~ Stigma