Living With A First Class Arse

Living with a First Class Arse.

Apparently, there are only so many times you can miss your boyfriend’s football match. And missing it once, is one time too many according to Scott. I didn't see the big deal, after having a boyfriend for 2 years and never missing a match I think I should be entitled to one Saturday lie in. So rolling over to my TV remote to continue with my friends-a-thon, I noticed my phone buzzing.

“‘Ello?” I said groggily. Mispronunciation, yumm. Such an attractive trait Lena.

“Marlene? Where the hell are you?”

“In bed.” I yawned, he sounded annoyed. “Why?” An irritated sigh came from the other end of the phone.

“Football? Do you know how embarrassing it is to walk off the pitch to nobody?”

“OhGod, I'm so sorry Scott! My alarm didn't go off and I-” I trailed off looking at my clock; the once luminous numbers had vanished. I noticed the back off it lying on top of my books on the floor. “Libby must have taken out the batteries again, you know what she's like. I'm really sorry hon.”

Another sigh, “Whatever Lena. Just don't do it again, I don't want to be like William' I ignored the jab at William, and told him I'd speak to him later before hanging up. After the conversation with Scott, I was awake and ditched my TV for the prospect of a bacon sarnie.

Entering the kitchen I found Libby sat at the table. She was mindlessly twirling a spoon in one hand and in the other she held her blackberry, which she was swiftly tapping away on. The radio was blaring her dodgy mainstream music, and I was pretty certain that the radio hadn't had batteries yesterday. Funny that, wonder where she got them.

“Where's mum gone?” Libby barely looked up from her phone as she shrugged, and pointed at the note on the fridge. Typical that Libby hadn't actually looked at it. Being two years my minor, I love saying that I sound so mature, Libby's 14. The age where her life revolves around her phone and keeping away from people such as myself.

“She's visiting Nana if your bothered?” Libby made a rather manly grunting sound at me before starting towards the door.

“I'm going to Gina’s” she yelled as she slammed the front door. Don't you just love little sisters?

I headed towards the fridge to get the bacon when the doorbell rang, Libby must have forgotten something. I walked to the big oak door and pulled on the handle, “Oh, hi. I wasn't expecting you.” Scott was on the door mat, obviously just back from his football match. His blondie red hair lay gelled back to his head, and his crystallised blue eyes gazed back at me. He had his backpack slung over his shoulder, he was wearing tight jeans and a Rihanna tshirt. And as much as I hate Rihanna, she’s completely over rated, I had to admit that he looked good. And then there was me, my greasy brown hair stuck in a topknot complimented by my mascaraless stubby eyelashes and my baggy New York Yankees tshirt and one of his sweater jackets. Rawh, Marlene the sex magnet everybody! And to top it off, I probably had morning breath. Oh Yes, he was one lucky guy.

“Hey, sorry to drop by. I had something important to talk about.” Important? This wasn't about the football was it?

“It's about us, I've been thinking. We've been together along time and-” Oh My God, William was right! He was going to invite me to go to Turkey with him, his older brother wasn't going due to his summer job, so Scott was allowed to take anyone he wanted! I wanted to scream yes, but I couldn't look to eager to go on Holiday with my perfect boyfriend.

“-maybe we should break up?” Excuse Me, What? Breakup? My thoughts of bikini's and dark beach strolls, and fancy cocktails vanished. No way was he breaking up with me, I was the cool girlfriend!

“You want to break up? Why?” I won’t cry. Maybe I’ll slap him instead?

“I think it's time to move on, you're obviously not that bothered about us considering that you didn't even turn up to my football game.” I hate Libby, if she hadn't taken the batteries then this wouldn't be happening. Oh, and my dear cousin William. He will die a painful death for getting me excited.

“That was a one off Scott, I've come to every other bloody match. So what is it? Have you met someone else?” His face, oh my God. He had, he liked somebody who didn't have greasy topknots and annoying sisters and eats bacon buttys for breakfast.

“No, I just think it'd be better for me to be single for a while. See what else is out there.” See what else is out there! Was he listening to himself, what a twat. I wasn't going to stand for this.

“Oh, well that's good I guess.”

“Good? What's good about me breaking up with you? That means you will not have me as your boyfriend any more Lena.” He said it slowly, as if he thought I didn’t understand English. I thought quickly, come on Lena. Think of something!

“Yes well, you know I've been offered a place at that boarding school?” True, completely and utterly true.

“I decided that I'm going to take up the scholarship.” What an I saying!? When did this happen?

“Oh” Scott looked dejected, “Congratulations I guess.” I gave him a hug, a friendly hug of course. Then kissed him on the cheek.

“Well, bye Scott. Maybe I'll see you around.” I closed the door, then turned my back and slid right down it.  I pulled my phone out of pocket and dialed. “Get over. Now.”

A few moments later I was sat in my room with my best friends, Leah and Sophie.

“But seriously, doesn’t this guy know what pit spray is? You're lucky Lena, I had to go all though that to get here.” She nodded earnestly as Leah chucked her phone down next to her, where it quickly buzzed again.

“Shut up Sophs. Can't you see she's upset?” I glanced in the mirror, I had tried so hard to stay neutral, but it obviously hadn't worked. “And what was it I heard about you taking the scholarship, I mean it's great and all. But how come I had to find out through Paul Marsdon. Seriously! Pimply

Paul walked past on the way her and told me to congratulate you!”

“Yeaaah,” I said nervously, shifting on my bed. “Scott and I have broken up.”

“What?” Leah practically screamed at me. “Why? You were so good together!” Apparently not, I thought dryly.

“He was too good for you anyway.” Gee, Thanks Sophie. Cold hearted Bitch, I don't why I'm friends with her sometimes. I think It's only because our parents were school friends.

“Ignore Sophie. What happened?” I told Leah, and Sophie started reading Leahs texts.

“Oh Lena, that sucks.” She patted my hand sympathetically. “So that's why you're going to take the scholarship then?” She snatched her phone back without looking at her annoying friend.

“Yeah, the only thing I'll miss is you anyway Leah. I might as well start fresh, you know how much I hate it here.” Truth, another attractive trait of Marlene Cave was that she could find the worst in anything. So know we have Pessimist, and she can't talk properly in the morning. Great. That'll be a good introduction at a new school.

“But, you were the cool girlfriend!”

“I know!” I was the girlfriend who would drive over to ANY of his friends houses at 2 o'clock in the morning to pick up a bunch of drunk boys and not be a bitch. I was the one they came to for girl advice. I would talk about girls and 'appreciate' them. I wasn’t clingy, I turned up to every football practise, I flashed a group of spotty teenagers so they'd bugger off. I even came over early to make them breakfast when they stayed over Scotts. I was that girlfriend, the girl who was a friend. Not just Scotts Girlfriend.

“He's a twat Lena, have any off the guys text you?” Oh Yes, all of them. Mainly to tell me they were going over to beat up Scott, that's my boys.

“A few of them did, said they'd miss my bacon sarnies.” Lena came over and wrapped her arms around me,

“We can sort this out. You'll be sombody elses cool girlfriend before we know it, and this time some fancy rich boy!” She squealed in my ear before throwing a pillow at Sophie. “C'mon Soph, we're going fancy scholarship girl shopping!”