Snoink

For a second, I thought this was Nates's! XD Okay... serious now! I'm going to critique your grammar. Grammar isn't as important in poems as it is in stories, but ...

Oh, the words aren't that old-fashioned. :P "I love upo the rage" What does "upo" mean? "And pierce other's hands" It should be others'. This is because you're talking about ...

Awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww... Okay, first of all I did like this. In fact, I tend to like anything of a joyful nature. So! Let's continue from there! Generally, wherever you have a ...

Ooo! It has a lot of potential. :) First of all, I think this can have linebreaks where you put the commas. So it would look like this: Raspberry and ...

I told you your work was always worth waiting for. ;) Okay, grammatically, your guy was rather repetitive in this thoughts. There was one sentence that had anyway twice it ...

Wow... if you could do that in 45 minutes, you're skilled. ;) My main problem was that it was hard to read aloud. Try it... some of the words are ...

My favorite chapter is one. It just seems funnier. :) But all in all, the rush of words is fun. Perhaps you can even put this in poetry form for ...

As a writer, I don't do all of the work. You, as the reader, have to do some too. Interesting thought. One writer developed that thought even further. He was ...

It's okay. There are some parts where the symbolism gets overbearing. "The organ plays a surreal song, while reality waits at the doorways." In this line, the word "reality" sounds ...

Nice and sweet. :) Very tender and sensual too... cool stuff. I will have to kill you though, lol. Read and learn to love. It's a bunch of examples of ...

HA! Suicide poetry is so fun to make fun of. I love the clichéd lines and everything. Howver, I would think it clever to mock some of the suicide poetry ...

For me, the youngest student in the class who is just getting settled in to being in a class that is, to borrow a word from Mr. Wit, radical in ...

Cute! But this line doesn't seem to be very grammatically correct: They pounced on it, And in their jaws was caught. Especially the last line. What was caught? I lik ...

OMG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! IT WAS SO FLIPPIN' SWEET!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Sorry... had to do it. Now! To business! I smiled a little at Aiden’s obvious discomfort

"They were warm, and through her suspicions, she was grateful." What do you mean by the word "through"? "She kept an eye out for possible escape routes, by habit more ...