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Re: The Shifties: Chapter 1 - Lost
Great post-apocalyptic writing. There's a lot of potential for where this can go. Unlike some other reviewers, I don't think you want to do more explanation - like who the ...
Feb 28, 2014 -
Re: Maelstrom Chapter 3
Wow, this was great. Beautiful writing and concept. I can't think of much bad to say about it. Perhaps edit it to incorporate GoldFlame's dialogue suggestions. Also I don't think ...
Feb 28, 2014 -
Re: Nemesis, Act One
Really great opener horrendous, I'm impressed. The characters stand out from each other already, the dialogue is tight and fairly natural. Nothing takes you out from the story, and it's ...
Feb 21, 2014 -
Re: "All Beauty Sleeps," and Nothing Human Lasts
This was really fantastic. Whether it be poem, riddle or even flash prose. I wouldn't know the answer to the riddle, but I think treating it as a riddle itself ...
Feb 15, 2014 -
Re: The Power Of Fear
Superb poem. It was really well crafted and a great rhyming scheme. I don't even normally like poems but I liked this one. You have some great, dark imagery in ...
Feb 7, 2014 -
Re: The Lights and Sounds of a Chaotic Death
I really enjoyed this piece. Great work. You have a great voice to you, a style full of simple power in hard, rough sentences. The plot was very interesting, although ...
Feb 7, 2014 -
Re: The Urge to Jump
Excellent piece. Your use of description to create a beautiful, serene and melancholic mood is superb. I particularly like: "...fog covers the mountains and the great big blue like a ...
Feb 7, 2014 -
Re: Night life
Really great piece. It's fine that it doesn't have a strong purpose to it, I'm taking it as it is - a creative gaze on night life, a sordid little ...
Jan 31, 2014 -
Re: Tapping Sounds and Strange Reading (2)
If I'd reviewed this one first, I would have lambasted it with praise. Unfortunately I don't think it quite matches up with the first part. I think it's most likely ...
Jan 31, 2014 -
Re: Short story: Tapping Sounds and Strange Reading - (1)
Excellent piece. I thoroughly enjoyed this. You have a voice very much your own, a long way from the standard voice of commercial fiction and closer to the offbeat style ...
Jan 31, 2014 -
Re: Nobody Lives in the House
This was a pretty enjoyable piece, you have a really good grasp of horror, unsettling and grotesque imagery. It did feel kind of rushed and you might want to work ...
Jan 29, 2014 -
Re: To The One I Never Knew
Great piece. First review of yours so I'll just say that I noticed you're 17 - and thus your work seems exceptional considering. I'm sure I wasn't that good writing ...
Jan 26, 2014 -
Re: Puddles
Hate to be someone who chimes in with the general crowd but yes - paragraph breaks! Please edit this story with them. It makes it very hard to read and ...
Jan 24, 2014 -
Re: Drip Drip Drip (Prologue)
I'm amazed you're only 15 as this is pretty great work. Certainly far better than what I or most of us were writing at that age. I think you're only ...
Jan 24, 2014 -
Re: (Help choose a name) Chapter 1
Hard to say I 'like' this piece, when it's just child torture, but I do. I can see a huge Marquis de Sade influence in your writing, in fact I'd ...
Jan 24, 2014
