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Re: He Suffered More Pain
Hey zwinky! I love to see a post about God! I have to agree with Jose, (though I will be a little less blunt) your poem does need some work. ...
Feb 19, 2012 -
Re: Different days
Hi thewritersdream! Interesting poem, I like the ideas here but you do need to work on some things. The most obvious to me is that you need to choose a ...
Feb 19, 2012 -
Re: Flying
Congratulations on an awesome poem! You convey your story in such a simple yet bitter-sweet way. What I love about horses is their unconditional love, and how they will steal ...
Oct 14, 2011 -
Re: Wings
Wow! If you write this idea into a book, I would definitely read it! Very interesting plot idea so far! I don't see any grammatical errors that weren't already addressed. ...
Oct 13, 2011 -
Re: Breathe
First off, don't put yourself down! My writing teacher used to yell at me every week for saying I was bad at something. Everyone has different writing abilities, but when ...
Oct 13, 2011 -
Re: Seven Sketches of Christ
Wow Eli, this is powerful! It makes you think about those stories in a different way, more in depth. I have to disagree with Kamas, though; I like how you ...
May 1, 2011 -
Re: Beautiful Boy
Aww this is so awesome! I wish more guys realised the things you say here. It sounds as if you wrote this as a song. If that is the case, ...
May 1, 2011 -
Re: Project K
Hi Kaywiia! I love this idea! It's so encouraging, and I'm sure your friend will love these. My favorites are "Building a Future" and "My Goodbye". I guess the only ...
May 1, 2011 -
Re: i hold the keys
Hi Rose14 and welcome to YWS! First off, let me say this; I don't mean any offense with my review. I am just trying to help you become a better ...
May 1, 2011 -
Re: Welcome To My Happy End
I agree with RobsterJames, this would make a great song! Some people think there isn't a difference between lyrics and poetry, but there is. In order to be great (instead ...
Apr 30, 2011 -
Re: Narration for my animation thesis.
Hi! So, you said you want it like Dr. Suess, so I'm guessing your going for a childish type feel? Also, how flexible is the narration? I mean, could you ...
Apr 29, 2011 -
Re: They say
Hi! Your poem does make sense, the meaning is just a little bit elusive for me. I know it's about two lovers, but I don't know if one died or ...
Apr 26, 2011 -
Re: Pull the Trigger
Wow Jessa, this is amazing. I feel like I just lost a friend too. I don't agree with those of you who want less questions. I understand that questions are ...
Apr 25, 2011 -
Re: Three
Hi Snowberry! This is a really interesting topic. It's love, hurt and acceptance all rolled into one, which is unique because most writers choose just one of those topics. I ...
Apr 25, 2011 -
Re: Please People Stop Fighting
Hi Priyansha! Let me first say, this poem is beautiful. It is strong, serious, and so sincere. I can tell that, if you could, you would read this to everyone ...
Apr 22, 2011
