Published April 22, 2011
Is life ever really that bad
that it needs to be taken?
Is life ever really too much
that it cannot go on?
The urge to never walk,
never laugh, breathe, or blink
ever again.
Can it be justified?
Tell me.
What goes through your head,
at the very moment before you leave?
Before you pull the trigger,
step off the table,
put the pedal to the metal.
What foolish thoughts are spinning
like a tornado in your mind?
Is there anything in life,
that is so bad it needs to end before its time?
Why did you do it…?
Is it because you are selfish?
Just think about all of the people you left behind.
We all loved you.
And now we are hurt and confused.
Or because of something someone said?
Did some insane person tell you,
the world didn’t need you?
That it would be better with you gone?
Maybe it came from a failure?
Loss of a family member or job?
Test results came back positive?
Or did you just want to be dead?
You have left your friends with more questions,
more concerns,
and more damage,
just because you left
and never told us why.
I hope it was worth it.
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139,425 Literary Works • 672,560 Reviews
Hi, I think this was so beautiful. I could feel the saddness and the hurt that this must have inspired. I think the wording was brilliant.
But, the only thing was I thought it should flow more. Run through like your paccing because of the questions
Spoiler
Keep writing-good luck
JJxVoodo
All I cam say is WOW! I could feel all of your emotions and frustration and confusion coming through the writing. It is somwthing that one can relate to because it happens to alot of people. Overall, I loved thi spiece of writing and I hope u will keep writing.
Wow. I'm not even going to try and read this through again and find fault. It was amazing. Thank you for writing this, and God bless you! This poem was excellent.
Thanks for the nice comments everyone! I appreciate it that you took the time to read my poem!
Pokemonbragirl -
Yikes! I am so happy you read this poem if it made you realize it isn't worth it!! I hope you never feel this way ever again, and if you do...PLEASEEE find someone to talk to.
Thanks for the post,
<3 Jessa
This piece.. I really understood it. I feel a lot like this. That taking a life, whether it be your own or someone else's, is just a way of saying you're afraid to go on. I've thought about.. 'Pulling the Trigger' before and thinking about the things you've mentioned here, such as being selfish, is anything ever that bad, etc. made me realize it wasn't worth it. So, that being said, I really like this piece and am glad I got to read it. Good job!
Sorry for the loss
Keep strong!
You wrote a very good poem, keep it up! I liked the questions and as others have said, that could be hard questions to ask even after the event. I think it's hard to write about losses and sadness, but then when we get to, we don't miss anything out of it. You wrote very well and the message came across perfectly to me!
Wow Jessa, this is amazing. I feel like I just lost a friend too.
I don't agree with those of you who want less questions. I understand that questions are all you have left.
Here are the things I would change:
"Before you pull the trigger, step off the table,put the pedal to the metal.What foolish thoughts are spinninglike a tornado in your mind?" I would change this to "Before you pull the trigger, step off the table,push down the pedal.What thoughts are spinning like a tornado in your mind?"
Also, "Or did you just want to be dead?" doesn't fit. I don't think anybody just wants to be dead for no reason.
Lastly, the line "I hope it was worth it" sounds bitter to me. Is that your intention? If not, you may want to change this to "I truly hope it was worth it" or something like that.
I am truly sorry for your loss.
Sage
First of all, I am very very sorry about your friend.
Secondly, you transformed your grief and sadness into a literary work of art. The raw emotion and turmoil shines through with every line and although I cannot begin to empathise I can sympathise with the feelings of loss or grief. It's sad and beautiful and touches the reader with every question you ask.
I can tell you why... It's because life seems to not be worth living anymore... Whenever you try to be positive and to try again, something or someone always brings you back down to nothing... You feel worthless and the things that go through your head are just thoughts of the fact that "Life Is Pointless" and that "It Would Just Be Easier If I Were Dead"... Some people can't deal with these thoughts, I know I have trouble sometimes, suicide is not seen as an easy way out, just as the only solution....
Another thing I wanted to mention. You chose a great title for this. It grabbed LOTS of people's attention. You named it perfectly!
Wow. That's all I can seem to say, I could really feel the depth behind the words in this story and it touched me along with many others I am sure. I truly hope most of your stories are this great.
Thanks for giving me more edits! I have made some more changes. Keep edits/comments coming!
<3 Jessa
I loved it. The story is awesome but I have one thing to point out.
- this should be loss for the past principle of the verb lose.That's it! Great job!
Hello. ^_^
First of all, it's the title that made me click that link. XD Nice title. 
Nitpicks:
- That's a really nice opening! ^_^
- Put a comma after 'walk'.
- Use a period instead of a comma after 'metal'.
- Remove the comma after 'spinning'.
- I think it'll work better if you separate these two sentences.
- Remove the apostropher in 'it's'. It should just be 'its' because it's possessive.
- Ooh, I love the emphasis the italicization gave it.
- End 'behind' with a period. It'll make more sense if these two fragments stand alone.
- I think it's fine if you leave the 'T' in 'The' not capitalized.
- Did you mean 'Loss'?
- I think it'll be better if you stay in the past tense. Change 'come' to 'came'.
- Nice way of ending the 'italicized question series' with this one last question.
That's a really nice poem!
Anyway, I wasn't actually gonna read and review 'cause I've been too lazy to read lately but, I also thought that I haven't reviewed anything lately too. D: But your opening lines made me read it! Awesome job.
Never stop writing!
Hey I'm really sorry for what happened. I hope your okay. I just wanted to say that this is a really sad and beautiful poem
It has so much emotion in it. Please keep writing 
A lot can be rearranged but you conveyed clearly what you wanted to. It's good...
all I can say is, WOW!! it was so deep. The emotion was very deep felt and it was a good read too. Basically what I loved was the concept and depth of it.. Brilliant!!! Keep it up!!!:)
Wow. I liked this poem alot. It really showed the pain you felt. Sorry :/ Very nice. Keep it up !
I read it. And I think you should make it longer. You see- I had a desirous feeling at the end where I simply wanted more. Also, your questions were moving; I think you should delve even deeper into their answers, because it'll help calm your grief and the reader's fascination.
good poem. alot of emotion. someyimes i think it would be worth it
I like how you werent afraid to ask questions that you migh have never asked. Bcausr who really knows? Ive come VERY close to suicide, and I can tell you that usually it is we convince ourselves we are useless and not strong ejough to handle the strain. We expect ourselves to be perfect. The perfect friend. Child. Lover. Human being. And when we cannot meet our standards, we deteriate from the inside untill we are shells. Then wd dispose of the shell. I honestly love the poem. It is very personal, so if u dont want to change it, dont.
Never feel like you have to comply to our demands.
Looking forward to the revised version.
Everyone,
First of all, I’d like to thank you for your sympathy. It has been a rough couple of days. Also, thank you so much for your edits and comments. I just did a major revamp on it and tried to take all of your comments into consideration. The one thing I couldn't do was limit the amount of questions used. There needs to be questions because I don't know what happened and have this urge inside of me to ask her these things.
Please keep the edits and comments coming!
-Jessa
I understand how you feel in this poem, but I think you need to make it longer. I like the questions; they make a person think.
GAAAAAAAHHHHHHH. This put me over the edge and made me cry.
Why is everyone dying? In the past two weeks, I've had a distant friend, a friend of a friend, and a lady who goes to my dad's Bible Study die--and now this.
I like the questions. I have a lot myself, so they're not irritating to me, and they seem appropriate.
I don't think the questioning is gimmicky, either, and I think that stanza that's been pointed out is fine the way it is.
And I don't think the ending sentence is weak.
Overall, this had a calm feeling for me, somehow.
Jessa, first of all, I am terribly sorry for your loss.
Now, these first comments have picked up on the grammar aspect of this, but, I will stick with the emotions behind it.
From my point of view, it sounded like you were trying to figure out exactly why she took her life, you were confused, and a bit angry. Especially in the line: "Why do you do it? Is it because you are selfish?"
It kind of took me by surprise. But, I realize that I have never been through any of this with a close friend before, and I'm sure my emotions would be just as wild too.
The truth is, we will never know what was running through her head, because we were not her. So, we can never ever understand until we walk in her shoes, and live her entire life. The one thing that you probably didn't mention in this poem is guilt. For me personally, guilt would be the number one thing I would feel, and although I know it wouldn't be my fault that she took her life, I would still feel like I had a responsibility. Every single person is different though, and there are completely different phases of grief that humans go through.
The poem is good because it picks up on the CONFUSING aspects of life. "Why this, why that?" And I believe that you were completely displaying your OWN emotions with us; you were not trying to become the person who took their life. You stuck with the person "looking on" at suicide as a whole.
Overall, death is a tricky subject to tackle and I think you did an excellent job of sharing with us your exact feelings on the topic of suicide.
Great job, and keep writing.
I'm truly sorry for your loss. I know that isn't much for comfort. I really respect you for writing this so soon and sharing with us. I just have a few little nitpicks.
I think "never move" is a little redundant. Maybe you could make it a little more personal. Did your friend dance, sing, laugh, etc.? Also, you need a comma after "walk."
Personally, I wouldn't repeat "through your head." You might try saying it in a different way the second time.
I didn't know your friend, but I don't think that suicidal people do it for selfish reasons. Many times, it's just the opposite. If they openly show their depression, they feel guilty about putting so much stress on the people around them that they might feel their family and friends would be happier without them. It's twisted logic, I know. Try not to blame your friend for anything.
For such a beautiful piece, I found this ending line to be a little weak. Something about it just doesn't hit me as hard as the rest of the stanza. I think "just want to be dead" is the phrase that bothers me. It don't dislike it, but I know you can make it more powerful. Maybe it's that lines two and four in the last stanza rhyme, but nothing else does. I like your free verse.
Again, this was a very moving poem. It was very well written in terms of emotion, structure, and grammar.
P.S. In response to what Inkwell says about questions, I kind of like them. Normally, too many questions is really irritating, but in this case, I don't think your poem is about answers. You're expressing the pain of your loss, and I don't think you can portray your desire for answers without asking questions. As a reader, I don't want an explanation of the thoughts of a suicidal person. The poem is more easily approachable with the author's natural questions and guesses.
Best wishes,
-Sea-
Sorry for your loss.
Hope I helped. Needs revision and further developed ideas. Go deep, and try to avoid questions.
i can feel th emotion of pain here, but i can tell you it's not selfishness.
sometimes we lose our senses in the middle of our yearning voices, it could be sickness. maybe a depression.
our faith who make us stronger, maybe he or she didn't find it yet........ pray for him or her!!!
i know it doesn't justified it. any way keep up!!!!!!