Runawaythoughts

Great Job! Your last reviewer caught a lot of your mistakes, and im not going to make you feel like a loser by repeating them, so besides that here goes. ...

In arrogance I walk, glancing at houses adorned with snow instead of watching sliippery legions taking over the path. watching the slippery legions? add a "the" before slippery, which you ...

IGNORE MAKI CHANS POST IT FLOWS AMAZING! I LOVED IT! It almost sounds like a prohecy but i l-o-v-e it! few things though. a love lost, a love stolen, and ...

Wandering, Wandering as though you are lost, yet all around you, are those you called your friends. Okay, your talking in the second person, different but okay..... Fakes they were, ...

Wow, umm not really sure what you were going for there. The corwn of thorns made me think of christianity, along with the first few lines but im not really ...

Wow, I just had a reall long coment but it got deleted because my computer logged me off. Sorry Ill reread later when im not p***ed at my computer. No ...

I think this is great! good job. I dont agree with your last reviweres first comment though, It is in the correct form for poetry, if you combined the raw ...

OK here goes. I cringe afraid he will come back again. No matter what I say or do, this would most likely be on the same line as say The ...

I love it! My only question is do i have to read 2 and three to complete the story? I started reading the second but its a completely different setting. ...

I love this poem! it was strong, to the point, and made complete sense. Great job! I know what you mean by your four friends. I have the same group ...

Ok here you go. My critique. ONE: i like the thought, too bad someone else had arleady used it! A user named PiePIeman 22 wrote the same thing about a ...

I missed the thought you were going for, but i liked it none the less. What were you going for? Some dead guy speaking to his son/friend near his grave? ...

I think this is great! It is detailed enough to stay descriptive, but leaves enough out to be timeless. Anyone reading this can think what they want, christians can think ...

I LOVED IT! L-O-V-E-D it!. Only a few things i found though. 1) Yes i did think your characters were a little flat. Between Emma and Penny theres plenty of ...

OK i dont see how this is an action fantasy but ok. Now for the fun part heres corrections. The day had rung bright and cheery, I have no idea ...